Some things I want to remember:

• Marissa knows so many words, and comes up with new ones every day. Yesterday morning, when it was just the two of us up nice and early, she asked me to hold "this part" of something so she could hold the rest. But what is even cuter than actually knowing all the names of things, is when she points to something, says "this?" and clearly needs to know the name of it!
• At work, we watch Blue's Clues every morning during M's bottle. It occupies H so he doesn't beat up Rissa when I can't defend her as easily, and gives them a little something to look forward each morning. Marissa doesn't really pay attention very well - she prefers The Backyardigans, The Wonder Pets, Ni hao Kai lan, or Dora. So she just plays around the living room while H sits in his "thinking chair." So imagine my surprise when suddenly, Thursday afternoon, after her nap, she found a piece of cardboard, and immediately started singing "We just got a letter" and shaking the "letter" back and forth in front of her, exactly like the guy does on Blue's Clues. She was grinning, and when I realized what she was imitating, I started laughing, and she thought she was just so funny!
• Yesterday morning she was standing next to me and started coughing a little. After two coughs that weren't helping, she turned around, showing her back to me, and managed to grunt out "pat me" before she started coughing again. I patted her back, and she stopped coughing. LOL.
• I always wear a hooded zip-up sweatshirt at work. I'm always cold, even in my own home, so I'm even colder in someone else's house where I don't control the heat. Apparently I put my hands in the pockets often, because now every time Marissa wears a hooded zip-up sweatshirt, she puts her hands in the pocket and walks around like she's so cool, giving me a little smirk cuz she knows she's imitating her Mama.
• She can now count to 20 all on her own, give or take a few numbers here and there. She especially loves to count all the M & M's in my The M & M's Counting Book I bought in college.
• We're working on the ABC's, especially at work with H too. Both of them can fill in a missing letter most of the time, especially if it's at the end of a phrase.
• When Dan and I had the 2s & 3s class at church last week, I randomly asked a girl how to spell her name, not really expecting an answer. She surprised me by singing the cutest little song, with the spelling of her name being the first part, and the last phrase was "spells (insert name) every day." It just rhymed so well and was so cute that I had to come up with a "Marissa song" too. So now every night, before we sing Twinkle, Twinkle, we sing the "Marissa song" - M-A-R-I-S-S-A, spells Marissa every day (to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, or some other random tune that helps her fill in a letter). She now requests it, and can sing most of it with us.
• She got a Bible story book from my parents for her birthday, and we've been reading a story in it every night before bed. She now requests "Gog" = God, since we started at the beginning obviously, and learned about how God made everything.
• Yesterday morning, she picked the crumbs off her chair (underneath her booster seat for meals), and one by one, brought them over to me to show me. And when I told her they were trash, she took them one by one to the trash can.
• After she cleaned all the crumbs off, she put her baby in her seat, put a bib on baby, and proceeded to feed baby a bottle. She has only learned about bottles recently, since I nursed her forever and she never took a bottle. She's been watching me feed M a bottle at work, and in the 2s class at church, all the older girls were fighting over the only bottle in the room. So the other day, when we walked into Walmart, out of the blue, she started saying "baby bottle, please?" over and over again! How could I refuse? So I bought her two baby bottles.
• She is really into pretending with her baby, and her doll house. Her doll house is on her new table, sitting in the middle of her bedroom. She didn't used to have many toys up there, and the ones that were up there, she got sick of fast. So this new location for her doll house (that she got for Christmas) has really made her play with it more. Every morning, it's the first thing she sees, and the first thing she requests to play with. So after I change her diaper, while I'm washing my hands and throwing the diaper away in the bathroom, she plays with her doll house. Her soft voice babbling away is so cute to listen to. She talks about the mama, dada, and baby, and places them around the house. Usually the mama and dada are in the doorway. Lol.
  
• Since we watch Blue's Clues, H always has a zillion "notebooks" around his house, all with a crayon in the top. Marissa started obsessing over them as well, so for her birthday I got her a few from the dollar store. I put a crayon in each of them, and now she carries them around. She draws in them a little, but mostly asks other people to "draw Frissa."
• Haha, speaking of "Frissa" - that's how she still says her name. And when she's using it possesively, like "Marissa's car" she says it "Frissy's car." I will be sad when she learns to say her name properly. Frissy is just too cute!
• She mostly feeds herself now, even with a fork and spoon. But once in a while a food is just too messy for me to let her. But if someone is feeding her, she can only have a certain amount of food in her mouth at a time. If she thinks she's not ready for the next bite, she will say "wait" and finish chewing. Then, when she's ready, she'll say "ready!"
• If she's trying to do something, and someone is in her way, she says "mush" = move. Kinda reminds me of a dog sled in the snow.
  

Well, Dan's coming back from his brother's college graduation this afternoon, and we're going out to celebrate Mother's Day tonight. I think we're going to the Indian restaurant for our meal, then running over to Bravo for our favorite amazing dessert. Can't wait!

*Clarification on my previous post: I have left Marissa for a few hours or an evening. But not much longer than 2-3 hours, and not very often. Since my sister lives with us, she's a built-in babysitter, so we take advantage of that often, just not for long periods of time.

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On a serious note, this Mother's Day seems weird to me. My first Mother's Day, Marissa was only about 2 weeks old. Second, she had just turned 1. Now I am the mother of a 2 year old. But not ONLY a 2 year old. There are 2 babies in heaven that had the potential to be a part of our family. I could have been a mother of 2 children by now. Or expecting another child in July. But I'm neither of those. And I think I'll always remember March and July, and remember the possibilities. But for now, I am thoroughly enjoying loving my one and only daughter. She is such a joy, and I am blessed to be her mama. If we were in the throes of a newborn stage right now, or if I was hugely pregnant, I don't think I would be able to enjoy Marissa quite as much as I have been lately. So I'm taking comfort in that, and using it to convince myself that it really was the best path for my life to take. Even if it didn't seem like it at the time, and still doesn't sometimes. God knew what He was doing. But God? If you get this memo...My greatest fear is losing a (future) 3rd...