Wednesday, August 29, 2018

kids are funny

K, telling Ebeth how old she'll be in a few weeks "3! And then I can drive! "
We just had church at home. K prayed at the end. "Dear God, God loves us and is gonna give us toys all day. Amen"

"you and Daddy must be related"
"Because we're both boys"-R
"Or because he's your daddy and you're his son"
"Part of it is cuz we both have teeth"-R

"stop it! Or I will kick you in the head!" -K to R lol

K to R: you can't nevermind at little people!

I was just tapping my foot and wiggling while I was sitting. And K asked me if I had to go potty. I said no,
why? She said cuz you're doing this and wiggled side to side haha.
K held her bagel in the air and said "God is eating my bagel!

K just told me that God told her she could be done with her food at lunch.

K just started talking about "the toilet book" they read at VBS, then quoted the whole poem from it. (I'll love you forever)

"I think it's a grown up cuz he's tall and he has a little beard thing" -M

"you did such a good job sleeping so long today!"
"Is you proud of me?"
"Yes I'm so proud of you!"
"You're the best mommy ever!"

Talking about donut holes with K...
K: "Which one should I start with?"
Me: "The jelly one."
K: "Is that your final answer?"

Just overheard K drop her Lego creation then say "oh goodness! Oh goodness!"

K just said boom Shaka laka

"Mommy!" From her bedroom. I open the door: "I have 4 things to ask you. One can you stay in here a lil bit two I don't want a stuff animal (throws it to the floor) three can you leave the door open and four why do we haf to go to bed now? Was that too fast?" -K with almost no breaths in between and holding up each finger for each number.

Mommy! 4 plus 5 is 9! -k

"Mommy can I do school now? I've been waiting sooooo looooong!" -K

Me, to k: stop picking your nose. K: but God always tells me to

R is throwing a fit cuz he wants a snack but not an apple like I suggested. I said I'm trying to figure out why you're crying about that. K said "cuz he wants what he can't have" - she's so insightful! Then she whispered in my ear "does he need to go in his room?"... He whined. She said "I guess he DOES need to go in his room"... He whined. She said "he doesn't wanna hear me"

"mommy, know what my greatest fear is? Bad guys" -K

Was just doing letters with K. She asked where "cube" is. Then pointed to Q. Haha!

" 'hey Karina! No neverminds to big people!' ok God! I mean Bob." -K

K: mommy did you poop me out?
Me: no, you came out a special place for babies
K: which is...?

"mommy, 2 things: one, when we get downstairs I will sing you a song. And two, do you like my outfit?" (She picked a matching top and pants that legitimately came together) -K

"I like going this way, it has a waterfall" "it's pretty isn't it?" "It's so pretty I could die!" -K

K is running around shouting "tomatoes"

K, during the wolves/carriage scene: it's just like Elsa!

me:You can have 2 nachos.
K: No, I want 4!
me: You can have 2 or 0.
K: 4!
me: Ok 2 it is.
K: Can I have 2 and 2?

"I've been waiting for a zoo like you to come into my life..." -A, to the right tune

"I'm a pop star!" -A
"Do you know what a pop star is?"
"Someone who's really famous for singing?" -A

"Mommy, if I get 900 toilet paper, you would probably slap my butt"-K

K picked a plastic phone toy from the dentist, and it keeps falling apart (when she drops it不), and she just said "this is not my day" in a forlorn voice

K just drew a pic and asked Roman to guess what it was. His first guess was "banana cream pie"?!

Overheard from the bathroom "yes! I made it!" -K不

K just came to me in tears "I'm failing at the stickers"

"that's so easy I could do it out of my butt" -R about a math problem lol

"taking things out of people's hands is a sin" -K
"yeah, he slammed his door. He definitely slammed his door" -K, about R throwing a fit

Just caught K on the toilet. Singing. So funny. "Peas and carrots, carrots and peas! Please come out poop, poop, poop, please please please!"

K just said her leggings were feisty. Cuz she couldn't get them off easily 不

K shouted "payback" to A and R at lunch. And in the car asked what "aggravated" and "witnessed" mean不

How is it?
Two thumbs up to heaven! -K

"They're all cuddling up in the cute room to see what the plan is" -K, about her Shopkins in her magna tiles creation

"mommy, I bless-you-ed and boogers went all over my pants!"

A, talking to herself as she does math: ok, so, let's break it down

"I decided I'm gonna call him "roll" cuz he's rolling on" -K, after R recited 2 AWANA verses

R: are we almost home?
Me: yes
K: 8 minutes, chops! (Aka tops不)

"Mommy, it's a pattern! Poop, pee, poop! But it didn't repeat." TMI from K

"mommy I dreamed I was "Little Margaret" and I was a bad guy" -K

We were just watching it snow and K said "chillax!"
"mommy i have cold bumps on my legs! It feels really weird" -K

"thank you for this food. And thank you that daddy got where he's going on time. And thank you for dying on the cross. Amen" -K

M is helping Roman learn the books of the old testament. M says "Say lemon. Then tations. Lemon-tations!"
Then R is trying to finish up, and says "gay-hum" instead of Nahum.

K, making a Lego castle: “this is for the Queen. What do Queens like to do? Oh, they like to order people! I'll give her servants!”

In the car, K says my window is soggy.

Earlier this morning, K showed me a huge Lego creation on a board. Just now she brought me the empty board. I asked what happened. She said "I don't wanna talk about it"不

“Mommy, Roman is climbing on the stairs by his room” -K
“Mommy, when that happened I was worried that he would fall” -K

Was telling the kids about Legends last night, and that Zari was stuck in a time loop like on Odd Squad. K said that's a pretty name. Then she said so is Bella Sprinkles.

K just wouldn't let A wrestle with her and R because "this is 7 and down"

K, about R: why is he so whiny? (Pot, meet kettle 不)

Me: what did you have for snack?
K: what's that thing that looks like ice cream but isn't?
Me: whipped cream?
K: we had whipped cream sandwiches!

Me: I'm coooold!
K: then put on your coat!
Me: Karina, what would I do without you?
K: you would die.

Me: K used her brain.
M: me too
R: me too... sometimes!

R: I got a really big ear wack”
(Singular of ear wax, aka wacks)

I was telling A how I eat my Cadbury eggs.
K gave me a thumbs up and said “Impressed!”

“I love you, Stacy” -K

On our way home from the kids meeting Elijah, K said wistfully "mommy I wish I was holding Elijah right now" - I said “me too.”

I was showing K a pic of a car seat, she said "but I wanted a violet too one" I said I don't think they have one, she said "but I saw on Daddy's tablet they had a violet too one!"

Then I showed her a pic of her friend from church named violet and I asked who it was. He response: violet too!

Looking out our bathroom window: "wow we're even higher! Are there more stairs to be higher? I want there to be more toppings!" -K

Me: Look at these tall hotels! I'm not sure which one is ours yet…
R: Wait, you CLAIMED one?!

Me, to Dan: is this valet parking?
K: Oh that's good! I love ballet!

At the beach: I took K to pee in the ocean: "that was weird, I don't want to do that again"不

Dan gave K a hug. “I'm not a stuffed animal ya know!”

Going in the sauna: “it's burning my face!” -K

K: Mommy, when I'm in the water, (insert fingers in the air doing air quotes) air quotes are called (insert fingers again) water quotes!

K, sitting back, putting her hands behind her head, playing a card game on the tablet: “mommy I like this, I could do this for years!”

K sitting on the couch twirling her hair around one finger: I want twisty hair so I do this.

The morning after a long vacation, K said to me "you know why I'm touching you? Cuz we were at granny and Pop-Pop's house and I didn't have cuddle time" - longest cuddle time today, she even fell back asleep when I got up to pee.

K: "Mommy I'm going to seize you!
Me: Do you know what seize means?
K: Put in jail.

M, about something K did: I'm gonna take a page out of Karina's book and…(do the same thing)

K, to R about the soccer ball in a video game: get it, brother of mine!

Mommy, no lyrics at the table -K

K keeps feeding me play food. I said I was full, she zapped me and said it was the un-full-in-ator.

“If I was a peregrine falcon, my talents would grab you!” -K

K, telling Dan not to put his arm around her while cuddling: cuz your armpit is dirty!
K, after a big burp: I'm laughing so hard I think I'm crying!

K, running into our room after bedtime cuz she “has to tell us something amazing”: I can count to infinity! But it takes a long time.
Me: wow! What's the last number right before infinity?
K: a founsand.

K: 2 things: why is there birthdays for people?
D: to celebrate the day they were born.
K: Why is there Christmas?
D: to celebrate when Jesus was born.
(Closes door and walks away)

K: 3 things: one, my hands are sticky, two, my fingers are slimy, and three, I know what you're gonna say, that I'm gonna get a swat cuz i came out of my room three times.

Watching a Mystery Doug science video...
Me: What do you think lava is?
K: a mix of apple juice and blood mixed together!

"Daddy, you know 3 Rachels...mommy, rara, and..." -Oh ROMAN不

“Mommy, can I have a bum?” -K, pointing to the top of her head for a BUN.

K: Can I not do slimming lessons today?
Me: No, you need to.
K: Can I do what you do?
Me: What do I do?
K: Not swim.
Me: No, I paid money for you to learn from Miss Lynnea.
K: Can we go back in time?
Me: Why?
K: So you can not pay money for me.

That's mine! I got it for Christmas, or my birthday, or Flag day! -K, talking about a loofa in the shower.

R & K wrestling. R says "I won't let go until you say 'I'm satisfied with my care'" (from Big Hero 6)

“I have to do what I have to do!” -K, while playing video games.

Kids were talking about how cool our new van is cuz it has a DVD screen. K says “stop dragging!” (Aka bragging)

"Mommy do you think I won't last? Cuz my belly hurts." -K

K: Marissa, you have so many words in your mouth!
M answered that it was cuz she has so many questions 不

Me: Maybe you need some quiet time in your room.
K: I want mommy time

K, after seeing a pic of Elijah in a onesie with a bowtie: He looks like a dad but he's just born!

"There's a man in that car that's really flat" -K, about a man's shirt uniform hanging in a car window.

K: Mommy when I'm a grown up, I wanna be a teacher of swimming lessons.
M: What age kids are you gonna work with?
K: Mommy how old are you? You're 34 right?
Me: yes
K: Ok, 80 and down.

K just asked where we were going tonight. "Is it at Daddy's work?" No, it's near it. "Is it youth truth?" What's that. Oh youth group不

What's Marissa's nickname? Moon? Galaxy? aka mars

Can I do laundry so I can stay up late? -K

Mommy is that a clock? A time clock? -K

Playing card war with kids. K wins a bunch in a row and says "this is crazy yo!"

"let's go get a drink. Last one there is an empty egg!" -R

I got a phone call from Arianna (at camp) this afternoon! She missed us so asked to call. Her voice sounded so little She was fine though. Just finished her first horse ride, and jumped in a mud pool. Also, already spent $7 of her $15 snack the first day 不

K just looked into my eyes and said "you're brainwashed!"

Playing skipbo with the littles. K plays a ton of cards and says "mommy that was a massive turn!"

“Mommy, when it's your birthday, I'm gonna try to listen to all your words.” -K

Me: I hear more planes, do you see them?
K: no, because I'm focusing on that bug.

"mommy, what mumf is it?" -K

"Mommy, will you play this game with us? There's no exercise!" -R不

K was watching me look in Gmail, and told me to "do the secret spy thing!" Then clicked on the search magnifying glass icon 不

K and I were cuddling like we always do in the morning. She fell asleep again and woke up after a while. Then I put my arm around her and she said “I need my space” and moved it.

Then she saw me texting that to Dan and told me to say "I love you very much"

Me: go put your clothes in the laundry, they're right here
K: the swamper?
Me: the what?
K: the swamper? Or is it a romper?
Me: it's a romper

"I have a freezing head, I don't know what to do!" -K about brain freeze from a popsicle. “Head freeze!”

"mommy, can I do laundry, then stay up late?" -K, after whining about being the first one to go to bed. Apparently laundry makes you old enough to stay up late.

K: Mommy, that car is so cute!
Me: Why is it cute?
K: Cuz it's so small.

K, close to tears out of nowhere: Mommy I'm thinking of something that makes me sad.
Me: What?
K: We're apart!
Me: Who?
K: Me and you!

K, wearing a borrowed pair of underwear:
Me: how do they fit?
K: big, but they'll do

K, throwing away a paper cup in the trash: Slam dunk!
Me: how do you know what a slam dunk is?
K: it's when you throw a ball in the basket and you jump high like this!al

K: trees with no green on them are rare! I mean extinct.
Then she proceeded to count all the “not green” trees on our drive.

K: I wish I had eyes all over so I could see up and down and all over.
K: I have a cup cut. I put my leg on the line on my cup folder.

R: asking about a license plate
Me: it's Ohio, I promise!
K: mommy is never wrong!

K: that's so porky! Hahaha! Get it? Cuz you're eating pork?!

R: Mommy, I saw a baby today!

K, from the toilet: can you lick my belly button?

K’s song to me before bed: I love you, and I love your computer because it flashes in your eyes like the sun! We could have died without the sun!

K still thinks running slowly is called "jugging"
Roman should dump his water bottle in his face because it will “make it fresh. What does fresh mean?” -K

"I don't even remember our home I worked so hard!" -K, after her first soccer practice
K, singing her made up song: “I love your belly, it's so puffy!”

“I forgot about our house from all that running!” -K, after a hot soccer practice

Me: Why do we sweat? (Mystery Doug science lesson)
K: Because when we run, we cry, and water comes out of our eyes.

“Thank Thor!” -R

We're stopping in and getting donut holes!
K: Yay! My feet are clapping!

Me: Well I don't really think aliens are real.
K: Them are!
Me: Well I guess they could be, but the Bible doesn't tell us that God made aliens.
K: But they are in space so we can't see them!

K finished her cereal. Immediately said to me “are you gonna take care of this?” About her bowl.

Me, about geese flying across the road: Why did they do that?!
K: That's so dangerous! That reminds me of Otis on odd squad said dangerous was Olympia's nickname!

K still says "when I bless-you-ed"不

Talking about height:
A: when do you stop growing?
Me: high school maybe?
A: good, I might catch up to Marissa!
Me: you might, or you might not. Rara never caught up to me.
K: that's because she doesn't wear slippers.

K: is it my birthday now?
Me: no you just had it
K: when is it?
Me: August 27. It's always August 27. It was 2 days ago, so now you have to wait 363 more days to have it again.

K: what?! Are you kidding?!