zqhjkngfderfiolkpmnbdswdcgv!!!

Spotting last night. Doctor's this morning. No more heartbeat. Baby was the same gestational age as the miscarriage this past summer: 8 weeks, even though I'm supposed to be 11 weeks. Heard a heartbeat both times, and then poof. It's gone. Possible D&C on Wednesday, or I might wait til after our Christmas trip to Georgia.

Nurses gave me a hug. Rissa gave me kisses and patted my back as I sobbed. She kept asking if I had a boo-boo. Dan's out of town til tomorrow. It's a good thing I have her to cheer me up. No posts til after Christmas. I need some time to myself.

Ooops

Ooops, I've been slacking on this blog. Xanga takes too much of my time, and I forget to update here. Sorry :-)

Since it's been so long, I'll do a bulleted post:

• I'm pregnant! EDD is July 4, 2008 (when my mom was pregnant with me, she was due July 4, but I was born June 22 - so cool to get a baby for my birthday!). I'm almost 10 weeks now, and I've been feeling awful since 6 weeks, 1 day. No actual "getting sick" but I've felt like it for basically 4 weeks now. So fun. Lol. I had my first appointment last week, and got to see and hear little Baby Blob #2. I'm still very nervous after the miscarriage this summer, but so far things are looking better this time around.
• I'm officially DONE WORKING! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE! My last day was Monday. Marissa keeps asking for the kids - they played so well together. But it's so nice not to have to watch them anymore. It was just becoming too chaotic. Plus, preschoolers bug the crap outta me, so I need to focus on developing Marissa into a preschooler who will NOT bug the crap outta me!
• Marissa is 19 months old already! I just can't believe it. Last week she discovered how to pull her pants down, and in the process, pull her diaper off. So now every time I put her down to sleep, I check her soon after to make sure she isn't going to pee all over everywhere. Lol.
• Thanksgiving in NY was so much fun. The long drives not so much, but having zillions of people who were dying to see Marissa and play with her - it was wonderful to just sit around like a bum cuz I felt so nasty. And Marissa learned names very quickly this visit. Grandpa = Bah-bah, Grandma = MOM (I think I didn't model "Grandma" enough, and called my mom "Mom" too much - lol), my bro Jeff = JESS! (she was in love with him! so cute!). She warmed up very quickly to all the relatives she doesn't see very often, and was the perfect entertainment for everyone and she knew it. Lol.I almost forgot to mention this: Marissa can count to 10! Rach was trying to distract her in the car the other day, and we randomly discovered it. We have no idea how she learned it though. Lol. She says about 7-8 numbers after the correct number before we even say them. I need to catch it on video soon. She knows it's cool too. Hehe. 8, 9, and 10 are the most exciting for her. Lol. She must be smart cuz we definitely never counted to 10 with her before. It's just amazing at what kids can pick up on their own!

She's also picking up a lot more words lately:
pull
open (sounds exactly like apple, context is a must for this one!)
yo = yogurt
yo = phone (another context thing)
ba-da-ba-da-BAY-ooo = we have NO idea! She says this alllllll the time! First she calls our names to get our attention, then says it very emphatically. It's driving me nuts!
La la la la = her singing book

And of course I can't think of any more for now. But she's a ball of energy and full of funny things to say and do. I only wish I had the energy to keep up these days! She's been getting bored with her toys, I can tell, and I can only do so much since I feel so awful. Hopefully after Christmas, with a bunch of new toys, she'll calm down some.

Well, she is tickling my toes right now, so I'd better go :-)