Remember this

I'm writing this because I want to remember every detail about tonight. Dan's coming home from work late (OISF meeting), so it's just me and the kids. We did dinner, baths, and bedtime. Roman was crying for some reason, after I had put him to bed and was finishing up with the girls. So I went in to see why, since he's usually completely happy to go to bed. I asked him what's wrong when I went in, and he said "kiss" - so what was I to do? I gave him a kiss and a hug and a long cuddle (on the big boy bed waiting for him in his room) and put him back to bed in his crib. A few minutes later he started crying again. He's got me wrapped around every single finger, and he NEVER cries at bedtime, so I went back to check on him. He said "kiss" again and pointed to the big bed. So I scooped him up and took him to the big bed, where he pushed me down so I was laying down, then he put both arms around my neck. Then he rested both hands on either side of my face, and just stared at me. We cuddled like that for a long time, then I gave him a kiss as I was getting ready to get back up. Then he started kissing my cheeks and lips over and over and grinning. I asked him where he wanted to sleep "baby bed" or "big boy bed" (he knows the difference and thinks it's a funny argument to have at every nap/bedtime. He always says "baby bed" but tonight he pointed to the big bed and said "big boy bed." So I got ready to get up (it takes me a while lately), but he kept pushing me back down for more cuddles! Then Marissa shows up in his doorway, so I ask her what's wrong. She said "you said to always tell you this if it happened again: I feel sad, like I'm gonna cry." So I managed to extricate myself from Roman, promised him I'd be back in a minute, and went to give the girls each a long cuddle in their beds. Then I went back to Roman, clarified that he still wanted to sleep in the big bed, and then said I'd check on him in a few minutes. As of right now, I haven't heard a peep from his room (over the monitor) and he hasn't tried to open his door (it has a child-proof knob on it, but I'd hear him try it). It's hard to believe that he might actually be ready for a big boy bed. But he was the cuddliest sweetest little boy on the face of the planet tonight, and I don't ever wanna forget that feeling when he's 5 and bouncing off the walls or when he's 13 and stinky all the time, or 18 and grumpy and moving away. He will always be my sweet cuddly little 2yr old who is finally talking up a storm and I'm loving every second of it.