On the bright side...

I thought I'd share a few happy things since my recent posts have been a bit depressing.
Tomorrow is happy 16 months to our big girl! It's hard to believe she's so old already! She has been so much fun and so good lately. She's been content to play by herself or watch The Backyardigans (She loves the show, which has really helped, but she's been watching way too much tv because I've needed her to. At least the show is cute and I can stand watching it too) when I've been stuck on the couch (I've had some issues, nothing huge, just ridiculous, but I'm better now. It's just a bunch of TMI, so I doubt I'll share on here). She also is talking more! She says "ble shoe" anytime anyone sneezes or coughs (I guess they sound the same?) and sometimes repeats her version of "love you" after we say it to her. She is also getting closer and closer to saying Aunt Rachel's name. Although sometimes it ends up sounding a lot like "ble shoe" - lol. This morning she learned how to say "baby" - it's too cute! She looked directly at my mouth when I said it, and repeated it perfectly! So we said it over and over again, pointing to a baby in a book of hers. She is also eating better and better every day. Still picky, but I'll take what I can get!

Today our dresser/mirror got delivered. We bought it together with the bed, but it was back-ordered til today. I love how it looks, but it was a ridiculous ordeal to get it delivered. The delivery guys were late for the time frame they gave us. Then they dented and scratched up the wall by our front door. Then one corner of the mirror is completely rounded and dented. And there is white paint (from our wall of course) on the bottom of the dresser. The guys came back to take pictures of the dents in the wall and their insurance might do something for us. They are going to bring out another mirror for an even exchange. And they said that an SOS pad might get the paint off the dresser, or if it doesn't, the guys who bring the new mirror will have a "stain pen" to color over the paint with the same color stain. Even better, when the guys came back to take pictures of the dents, one of the guys leaned against a corner in our house and scratched his back all over it, leaving the whole corner black. It wiped off, but if it hadn't, I would have REALLY gotten upset! I still really like our bedroom set, but I am NOT pleased with the place we got it from. Oh well, we'll know for next time Once the piles of clothes get put in the dresser, I'll take a picture of our beautiful bedroom set

Well, since I'm finally feeling better, and my neck is almost better (last chiro appt tonight), I suppose I should finally catch up on dishes and laundry. It's been a bit of a disaster area around here since I've been basically stuck on the couch since Saturday evening. Oh, except for church on Sunday. We tried a new church again, and it was awesome, and Marissa did wonderful in the nursery. I was so proud of her, and so relieved. I could barely concentrate during the service, because she did so awful last Sunday. But they didn't even have to call me back to get her, and she came out looking happy and not all puffy from crying. It wore her out, because she completely slept through lunch at a restaurant, which she hasn't done since like 3-4 months old. But this church is about to start a Saturday evening service, which would be awesome I think, because then it wouldn't always be her naptime during church. I think we'll probably try at least one more church that's a little closer, but this place is definitely one I can see us going to long term.

About nursing relating to the surgery...I talked to a pro LLL leader, who said I didn't have to pump/dump or do anything weird after the surgery. She said as long as I was able to hold her, it was safe to nurse her. So we didn't stop (other than while I was gone obviously, but that wasn't any longer than she's gone before) and I'm not planning on weaning any time soon. If she somehow all of a sudden jumps up in weight gain, I may consider it, but I just don't think it's a good idea for her right now. I never thought I'd be one of "those" mothers who nurse this long, but it just happened! Hehe!
Ok, time to get some work done

Healing

The procedure is over and everything went fine yesterday. I feel completely back to normal, except for the weird numbness in my arms and legs. Lol. Marissa did sooooo good staying home with my wonderful friend Susan and her daughter Ingrid (17 months I think). I came home and she wouldn't even give me a kiss she was having so much fun. I was more worried about her having an awful day than me having an awful day! I'm taking it easy this weekend, and it's kinda nice so far. Rissa definitely made up her "mommy time" this evening, but it was great cuz I missed her too.

I'm also feeling pretty good emotionally/mentally. Not sure if I'm actually feeling this good for real, or if it just hasn't hit me yet. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of sad moments. But Marissa is full of cheer and Dan and Rach are fun and super helpful.

Well, I thought I'd let everybody know that I'm back home and ok. I woke up Tuesday morning and couldn't move my neck, so it's been an interesting few days. My neck is finally feeling mostly better, and hopefully this coming week I can actually get unpacking again and cleaning up around here.

Thank you so much for all the prayers! It was very encouraging and made me so happy!

Short and bittersweet

• I am no longer carrying a healthy baby. Very sad. I came back from vacation expecting and preparing for the worst. But after the ultrasound and heartbeat, I got my hopes back up. Now the heartbeat is gone. Not sure how much it has really hit me yet. Everything went so smoothly with Marissa that I kinda didn't think this could ever happen. Oh well. D & C scheduled for next Friday. Any tips on weaning/not weaning/pumping, etc. (keeping in mind the Dr's worry about Marissa's lack of weight gain) for the surgery are much needed. Moving on...
• The house is wonderful, but it's a disaster area. It is a very slow, but exciting process of unpacking and arranging things.
• We bought a king size bedroom set, and it was delivered Wednesday! We love it! Pictures soon.
• Marissa is diligently practicing for her upcoming (2 yr) birthday already. Wow. Whining, screaming, squealing, biting...we're having a grand time More pictures soon. I know, I've been slacking off. She is finally drinking milk! It took some convincing, but she drinks it out of a sippy with a straw now. Hopefully it will help her gain some much needed weight. She also has been eating a little better. The other day she had 6 chicken nuggets for lunch, among other things. And she ate her first PB&J too She also is well on her way to mastering the use of a fork and spoon. It's so darn cute, and she's so proud of herself. She's actually not too messy either. She is so much fun lately, and so loving. Just what I need these days. She certainly knows how to make her momma happy!
• Rach (my sis) is moving into our extra bedroom this weekend, and will eventually move into the basement once we get it finished. Fun times ahead!
• We finally have internet at our house! I'd been going through xanga-withdrawal. I promise to get back to posting regularly as soon as I can! In the meantime, I will be busy setting up our house and trying to cope with the difficult things ahead.

A few pics

Bubbles!

She loves wearing her necklaces and I love her pigtails!

Family picture on vacation

She loves her spaghetti!

"Cheese!"

We're back, we're homeowners, and I'm PREGNANT!!!

15 months
First of all, happy 15 months to Marissa Lynn! She had her appointment yesterday. She weighed 18 lbs, 13 oz so she STILL has to face backwards in her carseat! The Dr. was a little worried since her percentile dropped from 25% (consistent til 9 months) down to 15% (at 1 year) down to 5% now. So I'll be starting her on whole milk (still nursing of course) and adding olive oil to her veggies (haha that seemed weird to me). We've honestly been trying to fatten her up, but to no avail.
This past week, on vacation, it seems like her language has just shot through the roof! She started saying "cheese" for pictures, all the time! It's hysterical, and I'll try to get a video of it on here. She also says hat (ha-), hot (ho-), hi, mama, tissue (tish-), uh-oh, and Dan claims she said fish and car but we can't get her to repeat them. Lol. Total she says 10+ words, but for the life of me I can't remember any more right now.

Vacation
We spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long in the car. We drove 9 hours to NY, spent Thursday night (well, it was daytime before we got there) at my parents house, and drove 6 hours to NH and spent Friday night, then drove 2 hours to Maine Saturday afternoon. Once we got there, it was really really nice to just relax around the cottage, even though it was smaller than we were expecting. It was kinda a hassle to get everyone to the beach with food and baby stuff, etc. so we didn't all go everyday, but Rissa certainly got a good taste of beach life! We got ice cream at Brown's almost every day because they have the awesomest flavor in the country - Chocolate Oreo Mousse! Marissa liked it too. We had planned to drive the 9 hours to NY the following Friday night, only we took a minor detour that added 100 miles to our trip, then drove the last 8 hours home Saturday night. Marissa talked in her sleep on the drive home - it was hysterical! She said "Hi!" which she does alllllllllll the time to everybody, and "Eh?" which she says when someone leaves and she wonders where they went. She even did the hand motions to the "Eh?" - too funny! Sunday we didn't do much except pack a couple boxes. Then Monday...

We closed on our house!
We are gradually moving in all week, but Saturday is the big day! Our house is wonderful! We are going tonight to purchase a washer, dryer, stove, and fridge!
Plus, guess what...

I'm PREGNANT!!!

We found out July 8th, but thought it best to keep it a secret - til now, mainly cuz I can't stand keeping it a secret anymore! Estimated due date is March 12, 2008. That should put the siblings about 23 months apart. Hehe. We're soooo excited! It's kinda good timing because all my maternity clothes are going to be the correct season, but I didn't have all that many (mainly because they were just way too big!) so hopefully I'll get some cute wintery stuff, and fit into my old maternity stuff better this time around, since I hear second pregnancies get bigger faster, and are just bigger in general. Dan is really hoping for a boy, to even things out a bit. Lol. But I don't care either way! It would be kinda nice if we have another girl though, since we have TONS of girly stuff, and all in the right seasons - unless this next baby is a huge chunko! Marissa is still wearing some 9 month clothes at 15 months!

I've been watching Marissa with the baby I nanny for (he's 5 months younger than her), and it's just soooo cute! She gives him hugs and kisses, and brings him toys. She is totally ready for a sibling! Plus, she can do the "shhhh" thing to be quiet if the baby's sleeping, so really, that's the only thing that's necessary. Lol. Except just in the last few weeks, all of a sudden, she's decided that if he even comes near her when she's playing with a toy, she screams and cries like he's about to squash her (which he could very well do, but he doesn't - lol). She has become quite protective of any toy she is playing with. While it's very funny to me, it seems like the end of the world to her, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I could ignore it since it's unnecessary; I could tell her NO for fussing at him; or I could tell him NO for taking her toy. But I don't want to ignore it, and I don't think either of them would understand why I was telling them NO. Plus, neither of them is ready for the whole "sharing" thing yet anyways. I suppose the only good thing that will come out of this is that Marissa will learn to share by the time her sibling arrives, whether she likes it or not!

I would have liked a smaller age difference actually, but I didn't even think about it until it was too late for that. Lol. I feel like this is good though, because Marissa is very much losing her "baby-ness" and she's pretty much hit all the "baby milestones." So we got to enjoy her babyhood, and now it's time for more baby-ness! I'm not nervous about having 2 kids - yet. Since I've been nannying since before Marissa was born, I feel like I can handle a bunch of kids at a time. I'm sure things will be different though, when they're both my own! One thing I already know will be near impossible is taking a shower! Now, I usually wait to take one at night, or put Marissa in a walker-type thing while I jump in really quickly. But I'm not sure I'd be comfortable leaving a baby in a swing/bouncer and Rissa walking around. I can totally see Marissa trying to pick up the baby or something. I'm sure I'll figure something out, and I'm sure every other mother out there has figured something out. But I can't wait!

Another thing I'm nervous about is breastfeeding. Marissa is still nursing quite a bit, and I don't want to wean her, especially right now, unless she starts on her own. She's pretty much night-weaned already, so that's not a problem. But am I really up for tandem nursing? I'm kinda secretly hoping Marissa will wean herself soon, and not demand to nurse even more when the baby comes. But we'll see how things go when the time comes.

My first doctor's appointment isn't until August 7th, but I've already been in to see the doctors and midwives, and I love them! I had some issues while we were on vacation, and I made a quick trip to get things checked out on Monday afternoon (30 minutes before closing). We have a heartbeat, and "it" was measuring 7 weeks 2 days! I'm supposed to take it easy for now, but that's going to be difficult since we're moving! I've been feeling VERY nauseous, most of the time, so I really hope that goes away soon. I really can't eat much cuz I feel so sick, and even when I eat something, it still doesn't make the sickness go away. At least I'm not vomiting everywhere...yet...I'm very excited about this upcoming birth. Since we are moving, and since I want a different kind of birth than last time, I decided to change doctors. If there are no complications during pregnancy, I will be able to give birth in a birthing center, hopefully in a tub!

We had a boy's name picked out, but I changed my mind already. Lol. And if it's another girl, we're in trouble! Marissa was the only name we could agree on last time! Hehe. YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

As a side note, I was extremely frustrated during our vacation. The beach was beautiful, but I couldn't get away from cigarette smoke! Here are some quotes I found online that support my strong opinion on secondhand smoke, especially now that I'm pregnant, and especially since I've already had issues:

"Q: What about other people smoking around the pregnant woman?...A: She has a greater chance of having a baby that weighs too little and may have health problems. So, a pregnant woman should ask her partner, and other people as well, not to smoke near her."

" We have firm evidence that the use of tobacco products by adults(environmental tobacco smoke) increases childhood mortality and morbidity; otitis media, tympanostomy, tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy,asthma, coughs, lower respiratory tract illness, hospitalisations, and deaths... A study, released at a 1996 meeting of the American Association for Cancer Research in Washington, says the compounds associated with second hand smoke can cause genetic damage and may be a prelude to childhood leukemia and other cancers. The study suggests that cancer-causing chemicals in cigarette smoke pass from mother to unborn baby, whether the mother smokes or not..."

And basically this whole article http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20050727/secondhand-smoke-may-harm-fetus-like-smoking but especially

"...smoking during pregnancy causes genetic damage in the developing fetus that can be detected at birth, but also that passive -- or secondary -- exposure causes just as much damage as active smoking, and it is the same kind of damage..."

Ok, I feel better venting about that now. Grrrrr...