Holy Heartburn

Well, it has been quite a week. We had a wonderful Christmas at my parents' house in NY. The 9 hours in the car there and back weren't so fun (imagine "Why, Mommy???" every 3 miles, plus bruises from baby kicks in the ribs), but our time spent there was perfect. We were also able to visit with both sets of my grandparents, which provided great entertainment trying to figure out what Marissa was going to call everyone. She eventually figured it out though! They had tons of snow, so Marissa got to go sledding for the first time - she was TERRIFIED! Her exact words are "it was a little bit scary" but she enjoyed watching Daddy, Grandma, and Ra-ra sled very fast down the big hill. We all got so many wonderful gifts from family. Marissa got a bunch of "big girl" toys - I can't believe she is basically old enough for all those elusive "3 and up" toys! It was such a relaxing week for me especially, since my sister and well, everyone else, kinda just took over with Marissa. I barely changed any diapers, didn't feed her many meals, and only put her to bed/nap a few times. Nothing like a break from the everyday mommy tasks to remind me to enjoy them when we get home! On Christmas Day, it took forever to get through all the presents (mainly because my family opens them one at a time, going around in a circle so everyone gets to watch everyone open every present!). We didn't even start eating lunch until after 2, which is usually her naptime. By 3:30, she was in a hysterical meltdown, which is an unusual occurence. But other than a few moments here and there, she was so well-behaved.

I am 33 weeks pregnant today, and I forgot to take a picture! My picture from last week, plus all the Christmas pictures, are on my Dad's camera in NY. It's really starting to hit home that we're about to have another baby around here! And I'm starting to be ready for this pregnancy to be over! I get the most random muscle aches, everywhere, but most of all THE HEARTBURN!!! I never had it with Marissa, but this girl is trying to kill me lately! There's been several nights where I just could NOT fall asleep because it was so bad, and one night it even woke me up at 3am! I was trying to tough it out, but the sleep deprivation is just NOT cool, so I went out and bought some stuff that I'm allowed to take, so hopefully that helps!

My parents are planning on coming out for a week or so when Arianna is born to see her, and so my mom can help out after Dan goes back to work. But yesterday morning she slipped on some ice in a parking lot and broke her humorous bone (upper arm) right below the ball/socket part, and is in excruciating pain! The doc said it could take 6-8 weeks to feel back to normal - so at this point we're just hoping she'll be able to even hold a new baby! But I also can't believe we'll have a new baby in that amount of time! I really hope her arm is mostly healed by then, because I can't imagine not being able to hold a new baby!

Well, I guess that about covers it...although it seems like I'm forgetting something major...AND it just came to me! Lol. I ONLY HAVE 5 DAYS LEFT OF WORK UNTIL I QUIT TO BE A SAHM TO OUR GIRLS!!! I'm off the rest of this week for the holidays, and then next week is my last week!!!!!!!!! After we're done working, I think we'll probably try to see if Marissa is up for potty training again. I don't really want to deal with it, but I kinda don't have a choice here I will be so relieved when it's all over with though, and I think Marissa's ready. Plus, I'm so ready to spend time with Marissa before her whole world gets thrown upside down in February!

Ok, now I'm done. I'm off to enjoy the rest of our week HOME!

31 weeks, 1 day

I am SO looking forward to a week-plus of vacation time! Merry Christmas!!!

Randomness

Well, for the first time since August when she moved up to a big girl bed, Marissa fell out of bed this week. I forget what night it was, but Dan and I were both downstairs watching tv, and suddenly we heard a huge bump/bang upstairs. We both bolted up the stairs (oh yeah, it was Tuesday so Dan was totally exhausted from the dentist [see below] and so was I, and yet we both moved faster than we ever have before!), and found her in the middle of a no-breathing-cry, trying to stand back up on the floor. She was absolutely hysterical/inconsolable for quite a long time. She was crying so hard, and barely breathing, that Dan's first thought was she was having an asthma attack (she wasn't, and she's never had any symptoms, but Dan used to get attacks when he fell out of bed as a kid). She eventually calmed down with plenty of talking, singing, and distracting on our part. But it was sooooo upsetting! I kept asking her if she had any boo-boos, and she kept saying no. I checked her all over, and found no bumps. But we have no idea how she actually landed. It was so scary for me, but she didn't even remember it happening the next morning. Her bed has a trundle under it, and I had put it away when we had a bunch of people over and I was cleaning - and I forgot to pull it back out a little. She uses it as a step to get in bed, and I pulled it back out so in case she falls again, she'll land on that mattress instead of the hard floor!

(Hmm, I think I forgot to post about a huge party we had at our house last weekend. Dan's roommate/best friend from college lives in Oregon, but was in town for a week, so we had a bunch of college friends over for a big party last Saturday. We did a lot of cleaning for it, and Dan grilled lots of burgers and hot dogs, and we had a great time. We sat around and chatted a lot, then played Rock Band quite a bit in the basement on the projector. All the guys thought that was awesome. And one of Dan's friends just had twin boys, so they were the hit of the evening as well. Marissa did so well, talking to everyone, and she was enthralled with the babies. I was worried that she wouldn't say a word to anyone all night, but everyone was really great with her, and it didn't take her long to feel totally comfortable playing with everybody. It was our first time to throw a big party in our house, and I'd say it went really great! I don't think we would have been able to do it if the basement wasn't finished though. It was pretty loud with everyone talking, playing with Marissa, and the babies. But I'd say it was a success!)

Last week was a long week. Dan had two wisdom teeth plus another molar taken out on Tuesday. Marissa and I obviously had to drive him home, so she missed her nap that day, and while he was getting it done, we bought groceries, so I was totally exhausted (and my hips have been acting up lately - yay for random pregnacy problems). But Dan was obviously wiped out and high on vicodin for the pain. So I had to do pretty much everything around here all week. I'm very accustomed to my "naptime" - I really need that rest time, even if I don't sleep. And I didn't get it at all this past week. Marissa missed her nap every other day all week for some reason or another. It made things very difficult for Dan and I to both be invalids all week! Lol.

Wednesday afternoon, Dan and I dropped off the Eclipse (not our family car) to get a tire replaced. Then Wednesday night we had a babysitter for Marissa, because we were supposed to go to my water birth class. But we got there (thankfully just down the road) and no one was there! I called a bunch of phone numbers, and finally got a hold of an instructor, who said the instructor who was supposed to teach just totally forgot! That still doesn't explain why there weren't other couples there for it, but oh well. We get to take it FOR FREE the next time it is offered (Jan. 14 - I'll be 35 weeks - anybody else think that's cutting it a bit close?!). So we came home early, paid the babysitter for a 1/2 hour (lol) and then Rach got here, so Marissa stayed up late to see her.

Then Thursday I had an ultrasound after work, so Rach came to work with us, and we went straight to the appointment (meaning no lunch for us adults, Rissa ate at work, but they don't really have normal adult food). Everything still looks fine. The doctor said the "globular placenta" might be looking smoother, but they had a hard time seeing it for some reason. The cord is still inserted strangely on the side, but they didn't seem concerned at all. In fact, I didn't even schedule another u/s in 4 weeks (like I had been doing, and thought I would continue to do) because they wanted to discuss if it was even needed with my actual doctor. So I'm kinda waiting on them for that, but I'm not worried. Arianna is still growing just fine - estimated to be around 3 lbs now! I don't know if it is because of the ultrasound waves, or just the fact that they're pushing that wand around my belly, but she was going crazy! I have a feeling this little girl is going to be a bit more, uh, ACTIVE than Marissa. Lol. Anyways, after that appointment, we had to take Rach's car to the car place for some major work, and ended up sitting around there forever trying to figure out what was going on with it. Then we had to go pick up the Eclipse (at a different car place of course!) since they were done replacing the tire. And by the time we got home, it was dinner time - again no naptime for anyone!

Friday was normal I think, but then Saturday Marissa had a birthday party for a little girl in her class at church. It started at 2:30 - exactly naptime! So no nap again! Then Saturday night Dan and I went to his work Christmas party, and Rach babysat Marissa. Only the family I work for (Rach watched them way back in July when I was so sick) asked Rach to watch their kids Saturday night too. So Rach took Marissa over there. They had lots of fun, but Marissa ended up staying awake til after 10pm, with no nap! She was interesting Sunday, and took an unprecedented 3-hour nap to make up for all of that! But she was still ok! I can't believe she's getting old enough to skip naps and be fine with it! I, on the other hand, am NOT ok with her skipping naps! Lol.

Dan won a $100 Visa gift card at his work party! We didn't stay very late, but it was well worth going just for that! We had a good time eating and chatting though.

Sunday night our church had their special Christmas program called "The Living Christmas Tree." I was told that Marissa would find it enjoyable and entertaining enough, so we brought her. First of all, they give out tickets for it, so they know they have enough room for everyone, since they perform it like 7 or 8 times. So we had reserved tickets. However, there was not a seat to be found. We had to wait for the pastor to ask everyone to smoosh in, and we still couldn't sit together. Dan sat on the other side of the church, and Rach and Marissa and I squeezed into a space for one person. I really wanted to see Marissa enjoy it, so I insisted on sitting with them, as Rach wouldn't give her up to sit with me. Marissa enjoyed the first few songs, and after that, the only thing she enjoyed was the clapping. She was ridiculous. It was so difficult to keep her contained and still and quiet in that tiny space. Not to mention my huge belly obviously in the way - I don't have much of a lap for her to sit on and she kept switching between sitting on me and sitting on Rach. It was a neat performance, but I really didn't enjoy it too much because of the seating/Marissa issues. And then, during the prayer at the end, she said very loudly, "Mommy, why is everybody sleeping?" Funny, but inappropriate. Granted, there were many other kids there, making just as much commotion, but no one wants it to be their own kid.

Well, this week I need to do lots of laundry, and make some Christmas goodies. I finally finished addressing all our Christmas cards, I just need to pick up more stamps and then they're ready to go out! Most of our Christmas shopping is done, just waiting on some things to be shipped. I'm really looking forward to this week being over, and some wonderful Christmas vacation time with family. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, which means I'm 31 weeks, and I'll hopefully remember to take a belly picture. But other than posting that, I'll probably make myself scarce these next few weeks. So Merry Christmas!

30 weeks - HOLY CRAP

• I can't believe I am 30 weeks pregnant! Crazy!
• My sister Rach is coming today and staying for a while! I'm so excited, and I know Marissa will be thrilled to have her Aunt "Ah-ra" back! We also have our "Water birth" class tonight. I'm really looking forward to it, although Dan isn't, and he's concerned about passing out again (like at the class we took for Marissa's birth).

Funny Marissa-isms:

• This week, as I was finishing putting her tights on for church, she said, "Mommy, I look adorable!"
• On our way home from church, her buckle came undone somehow. When she showed me, I jokingly said "Oh no, Daddy, you're in trouble now!" since he had buckled her in. Then she repeated that over and over the rest of the day!
• We were also talking about the snow we got that day. She kept asking why it snowed, why it was cold, why it was winter, etc. So then I started asking her why, why, why everything. She actually answered me for a while, then finally said in an exasperated voice "Because it just happens, Mommy!" Now she knows how I feel!

I talked to the family I work for, and it looks like I won't even have to work as much as I thought before I'm done in the middle of January! It really is a great job - extremely flexible, relatively easy, Marissa loves playing with the kids, and the parents are very understanding about anything. Sometimes it's just hard to see all that positive stuff! I know Marissa will miss going to their house once we're done. But I will not. I can't wait to finally be a full stay-at-home-mom!

Well, I guess that's all. Another ultrasound tomorrow - I always love to see my baby girl!

Thanksgiving

Our week away for Thanksgiving was so nice. Very relaxing, GREAT to not be working, and Marissa had a blast with her Granny and Poppa. We went to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, TN for the entire week. We went to Dollywood one whole day, and discovered Marissa LOVES riding on rides. I also discovered I can't even handle riding a carousel anymore (I used to ride all the craziest, wildest rides anywhere! Guess that's what pregnancy will do to ya!). We did a lot of shopping (found the BEST "Handbag Superstore" ever! Waaaaay too many to choose from though!) and a lot of reading. Marissa roped everyone into pretending a lot of "Super Why" complete with "capes" to run around in. Apparently she has memorized all of the repetitive scenes that all kids shows have, and she recited them the entire week. Hilarious! It's actually a pretty neat show on PBS, but it got annoying hearing it all week!

We got back on Saturday, and had a relaxing Sunday to unpack. Then yesterday Dan had a trip for work, and got back today. Last night, Marissa and I went out to dinner with the wife and kids of the guy Dan went on his trip with. It was so much fun, Marissa did great, and Kate and I had a great time chatting. Rissa and I went shopping after dinner, and then stopped to get gas on the way home. After I finished filling the car up, she asked "Where we going now, Mommy?" I said "It's time to go home now!" and she said "Awesome, man!" - I about died laughing!

This week is full of laundry from our trip, and some general cleaning around here. We're having a get-together on Saturday for some out-of-town friends, so that should be really fun. Then next week Rach is coming for a long visit, we have our "water birth" class, Dan's work Christmas party, and then it's Christmas vacation time! Then I only have a few short weeks of work left (!!!!!), and then BABY time It's finally starting to seem like it's getting closer!

I know I'm due for another belly picture, since I'm 29 weeks today (Holy cow - that's almost 30!), but it will have to wait til tomorrow. I am meeting with a new pediatrician since our old one is just kinda too far away since we moved and they moved. So far I've had a really hard time actually talking to a real person on the phone there, but hopefully once I'm an actual patient, they won't be too busy for me! So tomorrow I'll remember to take a belly pic. Guess that's all!

Birth talk, etc.

My parents were here this past weekend. We had so much fun, and Marissa had a blast. I actually left her home with them on Friday while I went to work as a nanny. It was so weird to be at the family's house without her, but Marissa loved spending time with Grandma and Grandpa, and they loved it too. The funniest part about the weekend was how Marissa said Grandpa. Most of the time, it sounded more like "beanpole" than Grandpa! We just cracked up laughing every time she said it! We tried to get some family pictures taken (for Christmas cards), but I'm really not happy with any of them. In the ones where Marissa was cooperating, I look drugged, and in the ones I look decent (very few), Marissa is going crazy. We may try again, or just go with a picture of Marissa by herself. Frustrating.

Crazy girl in the outtakes

Last night we had our first babysitter for Marissa (besides family) so we could attend the orientation at the birth center I'm planning on delivering at. It finally seems so real that we'll be bringing home a baby in February! The orientation mostly consisted of reading through their information packet of procedures and requirements, etc. Then we got a tour of a room and it's soooo nice! They have queen size beds (which would be great for Dan since when Marissa was born he had to sleep on a strange couch/bed thing - but he will be going home to stay with Marissa once Arianna is born), normal-looking furniture (instead of hospital-looking), and a HUGE bathroom with a HUGE tub where I hope to labor and possibly deliver in. I'm starting to get so excited about this birth. I have absolutely NO complaints/regrets about Marissa's birth, but I have high expectations about this birth! There are a few circumstances that would prevent me from delivering there (a breech baby being the main one, besides other risk factors that we would know about before even going into labor), and so I'm a little worried about those. But even if they happen, they'll just transfer me down the hall to the regular labor/deliver area. There is also a NICU right in the attached hospital, just in case.

We left the orientation excited (well, I did...Dan is still worried about passing out like he did during childbirth classes before Marissa, even though he was fine at her actual birth), only to find a completely flat tire on our "second" car, since we had to put our "family" car in the shop because the heat stopped working! Dan started to change it to the spare tire, but one of the bolts (no idea what they're actually called) was a different size from the rest so the tool he was using wouldn't take it off! He called one of his friends who came with a big set of tools in different sizes, but they still didn't help. Finally, some guy in the parking garage (turned out Dan and his friend sorta knew him from college) came over to help and had the right size tool and even a drill for us to use. An HOUR after we were supposed to get home, we finally made it home!

Marissa did so great with the babysitter! I was really annoyed that we got the flat tire while we were paying for a babysitter. But when we got home, Marissa told the babysitter "I not want you to go. I need you to stay at my house!" It was so cute, and she was so excited to tell me all the things they did while we were gone. Today she asked if she was coming back! I knew she'd be fine, but I didn't expect her to enjoy it so much! It's such a relief to have a babysitter lined up, and know that Marissa likes her. We have a few other occasions we will need her (or the other one we met a few weeks ago), but for Arianna's birth, a friend from church (with 3 kids of her own, and pregnant again!) offered to watch Marissa. Marissa and her middle girl are in the same class at church some of the time, and my friend watches that class on some Wednesday nights. So I feel very comfortable sending her over there (they also live very close) when the time comes!

Today I had a doctor's appointment (27w, 1d), and now I start going every two weeks instead of four! Crazy! I'm finally starting to gain more weight after that horrible month of misery way back in July! I actually lost over 10 lbs then, but from when the doctor started keeping track, I think I've gained close to 20 lbs. I'm measuring at about 26 weeks, so hopefully that measurement doesn't continue to be small again (like with Marissa). Although I kind of expect it to be small, since I'm small and I make small babies. But they ended up being concerned over nothing with Marissa because I was consistently measuring small for the correct week, and that was part of the reason they induced me.

Well, I guess that's all. I'm so excited that Friday is coming soon! I love the weekends normally, but I'm going to have a full week off from work, and it just doesn't get any better than that (well, until I can quit in January to stay home with my girls!)!

Baby business!

Profile shot

Cute foot

3d - she kept putting her hand by her face and messing up the pictures!

Thumb up her nose

Cute fingers

Finally moved her hand, but it was still a little blurry

My ultrasound last week went fine. The placenta is still "globular" and the "cord insertion" is still on the side of the placenta. So I will continue to go back for ultrasound checks about every 4 weeks until she is born or something doesn't check out ok. She is still growing fine, which was their main worry for the weird placenta stuff. She was measuring right on for 26 weeks, and weighed 1 lb 15 oz! I saw her little tongue moving around inside her mouth, and I saw her "inhaling" and "exhaling" fluid. So cute! Then the lady was just learning how to do 3d on that particular ultrasound machine, so she tried it out on me! I never got to see 3d with Marissa, and it was just sooo cool!

Ok, I need some help here, ladies: Dan and I can't agree on how to spell her name! We want it to be pronounced "ar-ee-ah-na." Dan thinks it should be spelled "Ariana" but I really prefer how it looks with two n's "Arianna" - but Dan thinks it will get mispronounced more often if we spell it that way. We could always do something unique like "Arionna" "Ariahnna" or "Ariyhanna" but then Dan suggested that we just throw a silent "q" in there just for fun. Lol. I'm not really into the odd spellings either. So speak up, and speak your mind - I'm asking for honesty here

A day in the life...

So I was thinking today how soon things are really going to change around here. Soon we will potty train Marissa, which will change many of our routines. I will be done working sometime in January, and then sometime in February, Arianna Grace will join us. And I wanted to have some kind of a record of how we usually spend our days. So ignore if you'd like, but here is a typical day for us:

7:45am - We no longer use a monitor in our room to hear Marissa when she wakes up (she was starting to wake up in the middle of the night for stupid things, and it was really starting to wear me out!), but I assume she usually wakes up moments before my alarm goes off for the first time. Sometimes she comes into our room, but most of the time she gets out of her bed, turns her light on using a chair, and plays with her babies and doll house. She LOVES putting her babies in her old baby swing (which used to be in her closet, til she discovered it when I was digging for baby stuff - now she keeps telling me how she's going to share it with her "baby 'tisser'" i.e. "baby sister"!), changing their diapers, and singing to them. Some days she wakes up earlier (if Dan sees her before he leaves at 7:25) and she still plays for a long time. (Yes, I know this is amazing and wonderful, but as soon as we start potty training we won't do this anymore)
8:00am - I usually hit snooze til this time, and then get myself ready for a day at work. She likes to watch me, or run back and forth between my room and her babies in her room.
8:10am - Time to change her diaper and get her dressed. Most of the time her hair is wild and crazy, so I spray it with some water and brush it out so it curls a little. Some mornings she loves getting sprayed, and begs me to spray her hands, and hair again and again. Other mornings she has a hysterical meltdown because she didn't want to get wet that day.
8:15am - We go downstairs, she puts her purple shoes on, and I start toasting our waffles. We sit down at the table, her next to me in a big-person chair, and eat our waffles. Most of the time she doesn't finish in time, so she gets a plastic baggie to put her waffle in (no syrup obviously!) so she can finish it in the car on the way to work.
8:30am - We drive 25 minutes to work, where I watch H (3 years) and M (15 months).
9:00am - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, H's mom takes him to preschool as soon as we get there. M and Marissa have about an hour to play before it's time for M's bottle and nap, and they all play together on days H doesn't have school.
10:00am - Diaper change, bottle, and nap for M, tv time for H and Marissa. When I first started this job, the mom told me H watched a lot of tv, and we have kept up with that pattern. Lol. I limit it though, and H and Marissa actually play very well together lately (not so much back in the beginning when they didn't understand each other's "language" and H hit and pushed Marissa all the time). They have conversations with each other, they voluntarily share toys with each other, take turns very nicely, and generally don't need too much interference from me.
11:30am - M wakes up from her nap, and we all head upstairs to play in the bedrooms. H and Marissa love to push around his garbage truck and firetruck, and they take turns nicely. They also love to use H's tools to "fix" everything in M's room.
12:00 - Diaper changes all around, then back downstairs for lunch. I usually scrape together whatever I can find, because the family isn't the greatest at getting regular groceries. But I always manage to find a main dish, veggies, and fruit, and the kids eat pretty well. H and Marissa eat the same thing, and I only make one thing each day. I will not let them be too picky! M is at an awkward stage with eating now (I hate the early-finger-food stage!), and usually only eats fruits at lunch (although I hear she usually eats a huge breakfast, so I guess that makes up for it).
12:45pm - Usually someone has pooped. So more diaper changes. Then play time.
1:00pm - The mom comes home (or downstairs if she worked in her office that day) and we go HOME!
1:45pm - We get home, remove all our cat-hair-covered clothes, and place them in one big pile in the laundry room to be washed at the end of the week. Naptime for Marissa.
2:00pm - My quiet time! I eat lunch, watch tv, and spend time on the computer. I almost NEVER do any housework during this time. It's my ME time!
3:30-4:00pm - Marissa wakes up. Depending on her mood when she wakes up, sometimes we play in her room, I do some laundry, or we come straight downstairs to play. I often clean up the living room now too, because she is such a good helper at putting away toys, and I can't vacuum without her, since she insists it's her job to push the "on" button.
5:00pm - I start cooking dinner, depending on what we're having.
5:30pm - Dan gets home from work. Since he rides his bike to and from work every day, he gets a quick shower, then it's time for dinner! Dan is in charge of motivating Marissa to eat a decent meal for dinner since I feed her every other meal, plus extra kids at lunch. Feeding toddlers is not one of my favorite things to do!
6:00pm - Playtime! Lately Dan has been playing CRAZY WILD games with Marissa, as I have been too tired to blink. Lol. They are hysterical to watch though!
8:00pm - Bedtime for Rissa. We brush her teeth (she loves doing it after us!), read a book, then sing some songs (Jesus loves me, then the "Marissa song" [M-A-R-I-S-S-A, spells Marissa everyday - to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle], then Twinkle, Twinkle). She goes to bed like a pro. No complaints usually, and she lays right down and stays in bed. Sometimes she talks and sings to herself for a while (up to an hour!), but she always falls asleep wonderfully.
8:15pm - Our alone time! We are really into a lot of tv shows this season, so we watch them together.
10:00pm - I shower at night because I'm too tired to get up early enough to shower before Marissa wakes up in the morning.
10:15pm - Bedtime! Dan can fall asleep in seconds even if he's not exhausted. But I've been sooooo tired lately, for obvious reasons. An early bedtime is wonderful, although our friends make fun of us for being "old" already

That's our typical week day. Weekends are lazy, relaxing, boring, and wonderful! And while I definitely wish I didn't have to work my job still, Marissa loves going there and playing with her friends, and I think it's a really good experience for her. It's also taught her a lot about babies, which will obviously be helpful in the coming months.

My parents are coming this weekend! They haven't seen Marissa since July, and she has obviously changed a TON since then. I'm really looking forward to it, and then it's almost time for Thanksgiving break!

So I know it's been forever. I'm sorry. I really am. I would say that I've been busy. Which is true. But I've also just chosen to do some different things with my free time lately. I'll get back to regular posting. I promise!

I've been feeling big lately. My belly's starting to get in the way of shaving, doing my toenails, etc. Lol. But I just LOVE feeling her kick and punch and jump around inside! I freaked out last weekend because I hadn't felt her moving much, but then I realized that on the weekend our routine is completely different from the weekdays, and I just wasn't paying attention at the right times. It's so reassuring to feel her going crazy inside there! Dan has felt her move several times, and last night she was so crazy it made me catch my breath a few times! As for a name, if we can't come up with anything stunning rather quickly, we'll probably just stick with the name Dan likes. It's not really all that bad, and I will love it if we name her it. That just means that I get full power over the next baby name! Lol.

Today we got invited to H's 3rd birthday party (the oldest of the kids I watch). When I asked Marissa later if she wants to go, she said "What should I wear?" I told her she'd wear a pretty dress, then she asked "What should I wear on my head?" I guess she remembers birthday hats, so I told her H might have birthday hats for everyone to wear at his party. Lol. It's good to know I'm raising a girly girl worried about what to wear - just like me!

Tonight we are dressing Marissa up as a princess and going to our church's small group Halloween gathering. I'm worried that I won't be able to dress Marissa warm enough, and still have her look like a princess! She'll have tights + leggings + a possibility of 2 turtlenecks under the actual princess costume. But her head and her feet are the problems! I will be wearing 2 shirts in layers, partly because I want to be warm, but mostly because my warmest sweater doesn't cover my belly very well!

Well, I think Marissa finally fell asleep for her nap. Today she was almost asleep in the car on the way home from work. So when I put her in her bed, I expected a nap soon. So I got in the shower. Once I got out, however, I heard some music playing from her room. Music from one of her toys on the floor that she could never reach from her bed. So I went to her room. Her light was on, she was sitting in her Elmo chair, and playing her little piano! I said "Marissa Lynn, what are you doing?" and she just looked at me like "Duh, Mom, I'm playing the piano!" Lol. It's great that she gets out of bed and plays in the mornings (especially weekends!) but she knows she needs to sleep first! After I put her back in bed, she talked and babbled for a while, and I think she finally stopped! It's really cool that she learned how to turn her light on too. She pulls one of her chairs over to the light switch and can just barely reach it when she's standing on the chair. She usually forgets to move the chair back, so when I open her door it crashes into the chair. But this afternoon, it was back in place on the other side of her room. Funny girl!

I think I'm going to go eat some sugar, lay down on the couch with some good tv, and wait for my baby girl to jump around inside me!

HELP!!!

With less than 18 weeks to go, Dan and I are starting to worry if we'll ever agree on a girl's name! So I thought I'd ask for some help! Here are some of our guidelines/problems:

1. First daughter is Marissa so...nothing that rhymes (Alyssa, etc.) and nothing that starts with an "M" (Don't want to name all our future kids with an "M" and I would feel like we needed to if we started the first two that way)
2. I don't really want a "girly" name (Hailey, Kylie, etc. - It just doesn't fit our family right now)
3. We would like something somewhat unique, but not crazy/odd
4. I love simple names
5. Dan only likes one name, and one name only - Arianna (I like it also, it just doesn't seem to fit for this baby, and it's kinda "girly")*
6. We've gone through entire alphabetized lists of names, and Dan doesn't like any of the ones I suggest

So get your brains moving, and start listing any and all girl names! Please!!!


*This is the biggest problem. Lol.

Ketchup

So I know it's been a while. I will try to be brief, but you know me

Baby shower weekend:

• Two weekends ago, I drove to IN to spend the weekend with my best friends from college. Nicole is due with her first, a girl, around Thanksgiving, and her family in IN was hosting a baby shower. So I spent the night with Laureann (who was also kid-free!) and then we drove two hours to the shower and met Nicole and Rachel J. there. Another girl from our original unit/co-unit freshman year, Natalie, was also there with her beautiful 5-month old daughter. We were a little late for the shower (big surprise - lol) but after the shower, we all went out together, all kid-free! We went to a really nice Italian restaurant, then to a fancy "fine chocolates" place and just talked for hours! It was so much fun, with waaaay too much pregnancy/baby/etc. talk! It was sooo good to catch up with everyone, and enjoy girl talk for a while with no interruptions. We drove back to L's house that night, and I drove back home Sunday morning.
• The weirdest part about the whole weekend was leaving Marissa. The longest I'd ever been away from her was 11 hours when I went to a Josh Groban concert when she was 11 months old, and most of that was during her nighttime sleeping hours. I missed her tons, but it was so freeing and easy to travel for a weekend without her. I hardly had to pack anything, compared to packing all her stuff too. I only carried a small purse wherever I went - no diapers/wipes/sippy/snack. Probably the last time in a LOOOONG time that I will be able to do that. She and Daddy had a blast, and when they came home from church on Sunday and she saw me in the living room, I got the biggest run-to-hug ever. It was soo cute, and she talked about "seeing Mommy after church" for about 24 hours after I got home!
  

Weekend in WV/VA/PA:

• Last weekend, we both took Friday off and left Thursday afternoon to drive to Dan's parents' house in WV. We got there around 11pm and crashed. We woke up early Friday morning and drove to meet my sister, Rach, who Marissa hasn't seen in a few months (and Rach was dying without her I think) because she was visiting our Aunt Kathy in VA. Then we all drove up to PA to visit my brother Jeff at his college. It was a lot of driving, but we had so much fun. We got to spend all day with Jeff and his girlfriend Jenna. Dan and Jeff played raquetball, Rissa and Jenna played bouncy-ball, and we all chatted lots. After Rissa got a quick nap in the car, we went out to eat at a Thai place nearby, and met two of Dan's friends from high school (I think?) there. That was fun, and the food was amazing! After dinner, we got ice cream, and Marissa got a free baby cone because she was under 40 inches or something like that. That was a huge hit with her, as we don't usually give her dessert at home very often at all. But all weekend, we ate out a lot, and she got LOTS of desserts! After ice cream, we said goodbye to Jeff and Jenna, and drove back to Rach's car in VA. Then we drove back to Dan's parents' house in WV.

• Saturday morning we just relaxed, and played around Dan's parents' house. Rissa managed to force both Granny and Pop-pop to play bouncy-ball with her for hours again, and we ate a yummy home-cooked lunch. After a nice long nap for Rissa, we all piled into one car and drove to see my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Paul's new house. They had just moved in that week, but it's huge and pretty neat. Then we raced to make it to our dinner reservations. After dinner, we all went to downtown DC because Rach hadn't ever been there. It was really cool to see everything lit up in the dark. Then we drove back to Dan's parents' house in WV.

• Sunday morning we got up early and went to church with Dan's parents, and Rach met us there too. After a yummy lunch out, where Rach got hit on by a random drunk guy, we packed up all our stuff and headed home to OH.

• It was quite a weekend, with tons of driving, but it was soooo much fun to see everybody! Marissa did not have a normal bedtime the entire time we were there, and only one normal naptime. But she did so amazing. I could tell she wasn't quite herself, and she was a little more "misbehaved" than normal, but none of it was awful, and compared to most kids her age, you couldn't even tell she was acting up.

Power outage this morning:
If you recall, less than a month ago we lost power for 8 days. This morning, Marissa woke up around 7:30am, and we were just letting her play for a bit while we slowly woke up. However, at 7:45, our fan went off, our phones beeped, and the clock went out. I just laid there, trying to breathe slowly, trying not to scream. Marissa started crying because "it's really dark in my room" and "my fan isn't working" so Dan went to open her shades. I put some socks on my cold feet, and then Dan called the power company. They did not give a reason for the outage, but said they expected it to be back on by 12:30pm. So after eating some cereal for breakfast (and I had my heart set on cinnamon rolls!) we threw some clothes on (remember, NO hot water!) and went outside in the cold fall morning to entertain ourselves. Around 9:30, I heard some neighbors yelling excitedly, then heard someone say the power was back on, so I ran inside and shouted for joy! I cannot explain to you how grateful I was for the power outage only being 2 hours long. I am NOT prepared for another power outage for a LONG time! (DO YOU HEAR ME POWER COMPANY??? IT WASN'T EVEN STORMING OR WINDY TODAY!!!)

This afternoon, after nap, Rissa and I are going shopping. She needs some long sleeve shirts, and well, so do I! I actually need some maternity shirts though. And I have some stuff to return. I guess that's all. I'll leave you with my latest belly pic at 21 weeks:

It's a...

GIRL!!!

Random tidbits...

• I finally finished cleaning the stupid freezer. Tons of stuff in there melted into this really nasty inch of gunk on the bottom of it. Then when the power came back on, it re-froze. So the main drawer to the freezer had been sitting outside for a while so I could hose it down. I finally got the hose, some soap, and a cloth, and cleaned it all out. Gross! Now we can finally stock back up on allllllll that stuff we lost.
  

• Tomorrow I have my big ultrasound! At my last appointment the hearbeat was about 155 bpm, which is the first time anyone has actually told me what it was. Lol. I can't wait to find out what and how this baby is! Dan is planning on meeting Marissa and I at the appointment. I am actually kinda nervous about it, because I'm such a crazy internet freak. I have recently found TONS of stories about pregnant moms, finding out their babies had Trisomy 13 or 18, both of which are incompatible with life. I keep telling myself that both of those diagnoses are extremely rare, but I'm just so good at worrying...

How 'bout some funny stories:

1. Lately, anytime I call Marissa something besides her name, "Cutie" "Babe" "Sweetheart" "Precious" etc., she replies with "Don't call me tootie (cutie)" or "Don't call me Babe. Call me Frissa!" It's hysterical, so we've been calling her odd things lately, just to hear her reply that way. And I still love how she says her own name "Frissa"! H at work says her name "Anissa" and they have arguments during lunch of "I'm Frissa!" "No, you're Anissa!" "No, I'm Frissa!" "No, you're Anissa" - I love this age!
   (Except when the argument is over whether a matchbox car is a car or an apple. I seriously had that argument with H this morning. He insisted, to the point of getting angry, that it was NOT a car, it was an apple! Ack! (And yes, I was immature enough to continue arguing with him. What can I say, it was entertaining - lol!))
2. While our power was out, Marissa didn't have her usual nightlight, and it was very traumatic for her. All her wonderful sleep routines are totally messed up. Anyways, she was in her bed one day (I think it was naptime - irrelevant) and was calling "Mommy, come get me!" over and over. After a while of that, when I didn't respond (I don't think she had even slept yet), she switched it to "Stacy [last name] come get me!" over and over. Lol. After watching a tv show based on a true story about a kidnapping of a baby, I had freaked out and taught her my full name. She learned it quite quickly, and decided to use it! I thought it was hysterical. But I've explained to her that she can only use it if I'm missing. Too funny! She also learned Daddy's "other name" isn't "Hun" (which is what I call him most of the time!) though she insists it is. And I've tried to get her to say her full name, but by then in a lesson of all names, she's too goofy and calling everyone the wrong name on purpose, then laughing at herself!
   
3. One night, while the power was out, Dan had plans to see a soccer game with a friend, so Marissa and I had a date at McDonald's. Yum. Lol. Anyways, we were sharing nuggets (EWWW) and fries, and we both like ketchup. A lot (that's an understatement, if you know me at all!). She was making sure I was eating too, and I quote "You want a fry to eat your ketchup with?" as if ketchup was the main menu item! Cracked me up!

That's all for now. I'll be sure to update after my ultrasound tomorrow!

...POWER!!!!

I'll be back on here soon, don't worry. After 8 full days of no power and no hot water, I've got laundry, dishes, cleaning, HOT showering, tv-watching, fridge-cleaning, food-buying, and cooking to do now!

Dying

SO because of some not-so-wimpy windstorms (no rain, no lightning, nothing else, just wind) LAST Sunday evening, we have been WITHOUT power since SUNDAY! No tv, no computer, no lights, no fridge/freezer, NO HOT WATER. Marissa's wonderful miraculous sleeping habits are down the drain. She's scared to death of the dark, and has barely even slept through the night all week. We can't do the few dishes we had left Sunday night since NO HOT WATER = NO SUDSY WATER to get rid of greasy dishes. We can't take nice long hot showers. I've spastically washed my hair a few times, but it's soooo freezing. We lost all the food in our fridge and freezer. We've been eating out every meal, once our bread was gone and we got sick of PB&J's. I also came down with the "cold of death" Thursday, and still worked as a nanny all week since Tuesday. They don't have power at their house either though. My cell phone won't hold a charge long enough. It keeps turning itself off even when it IS charged. Every time I order some food for take-out lunch, they forget to give me something precious. Thursday it was celery that I was craving so badly since we didn't have any fresh food in the house. Friday it was a wonderful chocolate cookie from Subway. Both of which I paid for, and did NOT receive. The cookie Friday was the breaking point. Lol. I basically had a meltdown to Dan over the phone because I did not receive my cookie. But it was really just the last straw in a really long week.

I called the power company Friday, and they said hopefully the latest we'd get power back would be Sunday evening. I heard rumors that it wasn't going to be until NEXT Friday, so I had to call and make sure I wasn't going to go insane. But today after church, Dan got a recording/call from the power company saying "call back if you still don't have power" - so who knows what that means. So he's currenly on hold with them to see what the heck is going on. This makes a full week of no power. I never thought I would survive, and obviously I'm going crazy. I'm at Dan's work to get in some computer time.

Well, sorry for the rambling. I will be back with a full post ASAP!

Love

I love Marissa. I love this age. I love staying home with her. I love watching her play. I love it when she asks me to play something with her. I love listening to her sing. I love listening to her playing "mommy" with her two babies. I love her running commentary on every noise, every movement, every object she sees. I even love her never-ending stream of "Why, Mommy? What did you do, Mommy? Why? What did you do? Why? What did you do?" I love the full conversations we can finally have, even when they don't really make sense. I love her memory of every little thing we do on a daily basis. I love her excitement when Daddy comes home from work. I love her excitement when she hasn't seen me for a bit and we are reunited. I love to watch her excitement when she discovers something. I love her look of pride when she accomplishes something "all by mySELF!"

Even when the day seems to drag slowly by, I love spending it with her. This week off from work has been wonderful for both of us. Her new favorite game says it all: I sit on the floor with my arms outstretched. She stands across the room with her arms outstretched. Then she runs as fast as she can, collides into my arms, and I kiss her cheeks over and over til she wipes it off. "More favorite game, Mommy?"

More potty mouth - lol

I've been feeling this baby move since last week! Last night I felt a really big kick or something while I was laying in bed. I LOVE feeling a baby move inside me!

About potty training...We gave up. I'm disappointed and kinda frustrated that I gave up so easily and early. Before we tried, I felt guilty because I felt like she was ready to try. But after trying, I could just tell she didn't really get it, and we were all (her included) just getting frustrated with her not getting it. She always knew to go potty, but not until just AFTER she went in her undies. Next time, I will just have to be more patient, and see if it rubs off on her, because I have a feeling my frustration was rubbing off on her, even though I tried my hardest to not let it show. This is just going to be a struggle, especially with all my germ-a-phobia-ness.

I'm also kinda frustrated because this week that I have off work is really the only time I'm going to have off work that's not a holiday. But if she's not ready, she's not ready. Plus, it's still very early. It just kinda hit me last night all of a sudden, that sooner or later she has to do this, WE have to do this, and the closer we get to her 3rd birthday, the closer we get to the "new baby upheaval" when they really don't recommend you potty train around then. So really, ideally, we should plan to have her trained by Christmas or so. That's very stressful for me, mainly because of my job. The little boy will be 3 in November, and is starting preschool three days a week (Yay!), so they're going to be pushing for him to be trained soon too. And I don't even know how to train ONE kid, let alone TWO. Plus, it will be at their house (Yay for messes on their hard wood floors instead of our carpet floors - the only positive point for training the kids at work - lol), where I have to chase after the younger sister (she's 1, and almost walking). It doesn't seem fair that I will have to do the majority of the training of the boy, even though I know daycares have to deal with training a lot too.

But at least now I get to enjoy my week off with my wonderful daughter, instead of stressing about going potty. Yesterday I had a friend come over with her daughter who is Marissa's age. It took them a little while before they were comfortable with each other, but once they got used to it, they played together SO WELL for SO LONG! They just babbled back and forth, playing in the play-kitchen. They set up a picnic on the floor, they put baby bibs on each other...it was soooo cute!

Guess that's all. Time for more toddler fun!

Potty mouth

Since today marks the beginning of 10 days of vacation from my nanny job, I decided to see if Marissa was ready for potty training. I didn't want to have to worry about the kids I watch, and I didn't want to have to train Marissa AND the little boy at the same time, since I have no clue what I'm doing. So this is really the ideal time. She used to seem so ready, way back in July (when I was miserably "morning sick"), so I figured she'd be even more ready now.

But...

today she seems clueless. We slept til 9am (which was a miracle, since I went to bed at 9:45 with a migraine last night), and she's been in undies since then. Dora undies even. But she already soaked one pair, pooped in another pair, and has only dribbled one time in the potty (which she promptly received an M&M for). I've had her sit down and try about every 10-15 minutes, but she hasn't gone at all. Shouldn't she have to pee more than once in the morning? Lol. I keep trying to get her to drink more juice, but everyone knows you can't really force a 2-year old to do much of anything

So...help? Tips? Advice? What to do differently? What NOT to do? Anybody? If she doesn't start to really get it over the weekend, we'll wait and try again later. But I just want to get this over with!

A 2-year old or a 3-year old?

For the past few days, I've been asking Marissa how old she is. "Two" she says, and spends 15 minutes manipulating her two fingers to hold up and show me. But I don't believe her. Because all of a sudden, she asks "Why?" about everything, multiple times in a row!

"What you doin' Mommy?"
"I'm doin' dishes."
"Why, Mommy?"
"Because they're dirty."
"Why, Mommy?"
"Because we used them today."
"Why, Mommy?"
"Because we ate dinner."
"Why, Mommy?"
"Because we were hungry."
...and on and on it goes, til I give up!

When did my baby become such a big, curious, girl?!

Happy happy happy

August 2005 - pregnancy #1
April 29, 2006 - Marissa Lynn!!!
July 2007 - pregnancy #2
August 2007 - miscarriage (8 weeks)
September 2007 - pregnancy #3
December 2007 - miscarriage (8 weeks, but didn't find out til 10 weeks)
June 2008 - pregnancy #4
August 2008 - STILL PREGNANT!!! (at 15 weeks 1 day)

Today the doctor actually found the heartbeat on the doppler very quickly, so I got to hear it for the first time! (All the other times they couldn't find it, even last time at 12 weeks, so we only saw it on a quick ultrasound) I scheduled my next appointment for the 25th, and the BIG ultrasound for the 30th! It's so exciting to finally be this pregnant. I haven't made this much progress in a pregnancy since Marissa! My belly is definitely poofing out, which I love.

That's all, just wanted to share my excitement! Can't wait til Sept. 30th!!!

Random tidbits...

Yeah, it's been a while. Sorry folks. I think bullets will work nicely today:

• On Rach's last Saturday here, we went to the Cincinnati exhibit of Bodies. It was awesome, especially the babies in their developmental stages before birth - so cool! After Bodies, we went into the children's museum part (I forget what it was called) and Rissa had a blast! Marissa was so extremely well behaved the entire time. Not a single meltdown! She mostly played in the huge water table, then we explored the "jungle" and finished it up in the little kids' play area. She loved to dunk her head in the running water - she did that over and over and over and over. Lol.

• Oh, I keep forgetting to write this down. A few weeks ago, I think it was the weekend we moved her to a big girl bed, Marissa did the coolest thing. She has this weird thing she likes to do with all the utensils from her play kitchen. She collects a whole bunch out of the drawer, and takes them all over to the piano bench. Then lines them all up. Then one by one, she gently strokes her cheeks with each one. She calls it "neck" and we can't for the life of us figure out what she thinks she's doing. She's never seen Dan shave, and we certainly don't do anything else that resembles that. But anyways, a few weeks ago, as she was lining them up, she started counting them. And she counted exactly up to 8, and then looked at us expecting great excitement for something. It wasn't until I counted the utensils, that I realized that not only had she properly counted in the correct order, but she had actually counted the correct number of utensils! For some reason, I thought this "one-on-one correspondence" (that's the right term, right El. Ed. people?) was a Pre-K or even K concept. Because I remember learning how to teach it (in college for Elementary Ed). I was shocked that she understood the concept and did it properly! She just seemed so smart and old all of a sudden. It's amazing how fast she's growing up!

• So, since I'm finally starting to feel better, I'm starting to eat quite a bit more. Last Wednesday, on our date, Dan and I ate at a local Indian restaurant, and we both always get the same thing. We've been getting it since, oh, probably 2003? Our favorite restaurant closed, but we found two more in the area that are just amazing. Dan gets Lamb Choley, I get Chicken Vindaloo, and we both get Bhatura (bread - tastes like funnel cake without all the sugar, perfect for putting out the fire of those spicy dishes). We both LOOOOOVE our meals. What's the problem? you may ask...
  
  I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRAVING for that same dish and it WON'T GO AWAY. The other part of the problem? My meal is $13, Dan's is $15, plus bread, tip, etc. Not exactly a meal we can get often. But I CAN'T GET IT OFF MY MIND! I'm going crazy, and everything I see reminds me of it. Today at work, they had leftover Indian food that smelled similiar. A show I watched today was about different cultural aspects of India. And that's ALL I WANT TO EAT right now! I want to eat my Chicken Vindaloo, that's so spicy it makes my nose run. I want to stuff my face with Bhatura, and go back and forth between too spicy chicken and warm bread, then spicy chicken, then bread, then more and more til I'm about to puke.This just might be the worst/best/strongest craving I've ever had. Do you think I can blame it on being pregnant, and Dan will give in and we can go again? Then again? And again? Lol. I think I'd like to go once a week at the least. Maybe every other day, k? I've been looking up recipes for my meal, but it has some weird spices in it that I'm not so sure we can find. Anyone else crave something too expensive/rare that wasn't an easy fix? I finally got to order take-out because I worked some late days last week and it was heavenly!!!
  

• We also moved Marissa to her actual "big girl bed" instead of just her crib mattress on the floor. It's a daybed with a trundle, so we pulled the trundle out a few feet so she can climb up on her own, and in case she falls. She calls it her "new big girl bed" and loves it! I bought some new sheets the other day (once I realized I only had one set of sheets - purple flowers - that weren't flannel) and they're green and tonight she was so excited to sleep in her "beeeeeen" sheets. Lol.
  

• She's starting to really catch on to learning all the colors, especially green obviously. Although she guesses yellow a lot. Lol.
  

• This past weekend, Dan went camping with some of his buddies, so I invited a couple of my friends over to spend the night. I let one of them sleep in Marissa's room, since Marissa has always been so perfectly adaptable when it comes to bedtime/sleeping arrangements. Well, not so much this time! I was just going to put her on her crib mattress on my floor, but she said "no sleep on the floor mommy!" at midnight when I moved her from her own bed. So I offered to let her sleep in "daddy's spot" on our bed. Well, to make a long story short, she ended up being wide awake for 2+ hours, moving between "daddy's spot", next to mommy, and her bed on the floor. I dozed through most of this, since our room is a safe zone, and only found out where she spent most of the night when she woke me up at 8:15am and was laying in "daddy's spot". She thought it was soooo cool that she slept in "daddy's spot" and I actually kinda thought it was cute and fun. But I was soooooo tired, and I have no idea how she's been fine since. She never made up for those 2 hours of missed sleep in the middle of the night!

Well, I guess that's all. I'll be 15 weeks on Tuesday, and I have another appointment on Wednesday. Still feeling good, but still nervous about one more appointment. After 15 weeks, I PROMISE I will start to accept this pregnancy with no reservations!

Wow, grocery shopping kicks my butt!

I went to buy some groceries this afternoon since we ran out of food around here. And I hadn't felt that exhausted/weird since last week when I got groceries! Last week, I was dizzy, had a pounding headache, lost my list halfway through, and couldn't even get everything we needed because I didn't think my legs could hold me up. This week, I finished fine, got everything on the list, put everything in the car, brought everything inside, then crashed. Rach had to put all the cold stuff away because I just couldn't make it anymore! Crazy!

Today I had another doctor's appointment. Not a regularly scheduled one, but a "Fetal Heart Tones" appointment for my sanity. After waiting an hour in the waiting room (Rach and Marissa came straight from Rach's last day at my job to hear the heartbeat too), we finally went into a regular room (I've only been in the ultrasound room so far!). Some student person got a doppler and attempted to hear the heartbeat. She tried and tried and tried. And I tried and tried and tried NOT to freak out. So then she went to get a different doppler that is shaped differently and sometimes works better. She tried and tried and tried some more. Still nothing. Still trying not to freak out. So she went to get the midwife, and moved me back to "my" ultrasound room. The midwife took one look and we saw the heart beating. Then, as we watched, the little blob bounced and bobbled and did somersaults over and over in circles! It didn't stop the entire time! It was soooo hyper and fun to watch! So either that's why they couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler, or they also said my uterus could be tilted funny. I don't care if I never hear the heartbeat, as long as it's there and I can see it! But it was sooo neat to see the little hyper baby in there!

Tonight Dan and I went on our last "free babysitter" date since Rach is leaving on Friday. We went to our favorite Indian restaurant since no one else likes it, and Marissa won't eat anything there - so it's only a "date night" place. Then we went to Old Navy since I had a gift card. And then we came home and ate a bunch of strawberries - YUM!

And tomorrow I start work again. Hopefully I can hang in there. Very exhausted these days. I threw up again on Monday after taking all my prenatal vitamins. My gag reflex is still in overdrive these days (That ever happen to anyone else? Brushing my teeth, taking pills, or seeing something gross literally makes me puke - before or after eating - it doesn't make a difference!). That's getting annoying. But overall I feel better and I'm finally eating three normal meals most days (besides snacks) and putting some weight back on. 12 weeks, 1 day! YIPEEEEEEEEE!

The Big Girl Bed Story and other random topics

The Big Girl Bed Story

So last Friday we took Marissa's crib out of her room. Not sure why we picked then, it just seemed like it was time. And she had been getting her foot pretty high up about to climb out her crib, and I wanted to get her out of there before that happened! So after reading many stories of the "big kid bed" switch, I had decided that I just wanted to start her on her crib mattress, just on the floor instead. So we took the crib out (and stuffed it into our bedroom, still assembled, because we will put it in the guest room once my sis moves out next week), moved the changing table into our huge hallway (she climbs up it on her own - scary - and it fits in a square corner part of the hallway perfectly), and moved the rocker/glider into our bedroom (yeah, it's packed in our room right now!). Her bedroom is actually quite large, but since my sister's twin bed is in there, along with the mattresses for Marissa's future twin bed, it was so tight in there. But now she has tons of floor space, and can actually play in there. Anyways, I took everything she uses out of her crib, and put it all back together the same way, just on the floor. She sleeps with a baby, a blanket (actually it's a washcloth now, since it's way too hot for an actual blanket but she insisted she needed one), and a cup of water. So for 2-3 days before this, we talked about her getting to sleep in a "big girl bed, just like mommy and daddy, and Ra-ra" (my sis). By the time we got everything set up properly in and out of her room, and I vacuumed and cleaned it up quite a bit, it was 9pm, an hour past her bedtime. Great start, huh? Lol. So we got her all ready for bed, and she walked over to her bed, and laid down with her head on the pillow, asked for her blanket on her back, and that was that! We closed all the upstairs rooms (child-proof doorknobs) and closed the gate at the top of the stairs. And then we listened on the monitor. And she babbled for a bit, and went straight to sleep!


Every night since, we have peeked in on her before we go to bed, and a few times have found her asleep on the floor across the room. Lol. But she has not given us one ounce of trouble about sleeping on her bed!

One of the shocking things about this whole story is how she got on her bed. For months now, ever since she decided she required a pillow in her crib, she has slept with her head on the opposite side of the crib from the pillow. But she won't let me take it out. She puts her feet right near the edge of it, and that's how she sleeps. But all of a sudden, when put in a "big girl bed" situation, she realized she was supposed to put her head on the pillow! We never talked about it or anything, but she just realized that's what big people do!

The other, most shocking thing, is that she stays in her bed til someone comes to get her. We expected the worst those first Saturday and Sunday mornings. But she actually slept late (8:30 and 9) and once she started talking to herself, she waited for someone to get her "out"! Then yesterday, she was kinda upset in the morning so she stayed home with me (more on that later). I put her down for her regular naptime in the afternoon while I watched a movie. Towards the end of it, I heard her talking a little, but she was still mostly quiet so I thought I'd wait a little while. Well, a while later, she was still only making tiny noises every once in a while, so I decided it was time for me to take a shower (yes, I'm lazy when I stay home). So I secured the upstairs in case she decided to explore, and took my shower. By the time I got out of the shower, it was an hour past the first time I heard her talking. Once I got dressed, I went into her room and she was STILL talking quietly on her bed. But the second she saw me, she bounced up and ran to greet me with a huge happy hug!

She rolls off her mattress sometimes, or her legs dangle off the edge, but it doesn't wake her up at all. I can't believe how easy this transition was. I don't expect it to stay this easy forever, but I guess we may be surprised. She has always been an awesome sleeper (well, since about 16, 17, or 18 months - I think - when I laid down the law!) and I was worried this would mess that up. But she still goes to bed happy at 8pm, stays in bed, doesn't cry, doesn't ever wake up in the night, and sleeps til at least 7:30 most days.

Once my sister moves out of our guest room (she's going back to college in VA), we will figure out what we're going to do with all the beds and mattresses we have around here. Then we will give Marissa a regular twin bed in her room. But after this "huge" transition, I'm not too worried about another!

Me, Rissa, Rach, and work

In other news...I'm SO VERY HAPPY to report that I'm finally starting to feel better! This has been the LONGEST month of my life. I think I said before, but I felt so awful and nauseas on vacation with my family, that when we came back, I knew I couldn't keep working my nanny job while I felt so miserable. Fortunately, my sister was planning on quitting her job soon to move to VA for school, so she just quite a little sooner, and took over my job! She even took Marissa, mainly because Marissa and the boy, H, were such good buddies and H's mom didn't want him to lose his friend. It was the hardest thing to watch Rissa go off everyday without me. I'd never done that before, but I'm glad it happened because I needed it. I also put myself on bedrest/couch rest just to be safe because I have been so nervous about everything. So I literally laid on the couch for a month. Dan and Rach were sooo extremely helpful. I didn't do any dishes, make any meals, change any diapers, clean anything, or do any laundry. I felt so awful, and even threw up a few times. It was so great to have all that help, but at the same time it was SO FRUSTRATING because I like things done a certain way and that wasn't happening. Lol. I was not a nice person to live with, I'll admit it. But this week I'm feeling better, and have started doing all those fun things again. Lol.

So between me sitting around all the time doing nothing, and my sister taking Marissa with her every day of the week, most of the time all day, Marissa has had some moments. Poor girl. She has done extraordinarily well with all this upheaval, but we could tell it was wearing on her. One day last week, we decided she would stay home with me, and it made a huge difference in her behavior the next few days. Then yesterday, I woke up hearing a huge meltdown before they left for work. Rach brought Rissa into my room, and she was crying so hard we could barely understand what she was saying. We finally were able to make out two sentences: "I want to stay home with mommy. I want to eat lunch at Frissa's house." (I just love how she says her own name - makes me smile every time!) Poor girl! It made me so sad, so of course she stayed home with mommy. Other than that, she has loved still getting to see H (2 yrs) and M (1 yr) with Aunt Ra-ra.

I was so glad this all worked out. Rach will be working a few more days next week, and then I'll go back to my normal hours there (9am-1pm) with Marissa. I still don't have much of an appetite, but I don't feel like I'm on the edge of my seat ready to run to the bathroom every 5 seconds. I lost 8-9lbs this month. But I know the way I eat (when I feel good) that I won't have a problem putting on the proper pregnancy weight!

Family Vacation July 2008

This seems like old news, but I want to at least have it recorded on here. The last week of June through the 4th of July, we went to Salt Fork State Park and met my parents and brother there (Rach came at the end because she couldn't get the whole week off work). We stayed in a cabin on the lake all week. It really was fun, but would have been much more enjoyable if I had felt like a human being. My parents brought their kayak, there was a hot tub in the cabin, and a huge pool at the lodge. It was a really neat place. Marissa loved riding in the kayak with her life jacket on (I forget already how she said life jacket, but it was cute). She wasn't a huge fan of the pool, unless Daddy and Grandpa were throwing her back and forth high up in the air and terrifying Mommy. But she loved spending time with "Mum" (grandma), "Poppa" (grandpa), and Jeff (which she finally says right instead of "Jep"). On top of "ALL DAY sickness" I managed to burn my legs, thighs, neck, and chest horrifically bad on one of the first days, so that made me feel even better In fact, my legs have been peeling from that sunburn all month til last week! We saw some cool fireworks at a nearby small town, and Marissa fell in love with them! For the longest time after vacation was over, she kept asking for more fireworks! The only part she didn't like was the finale - she covered her ears and buried her face in my shirt. She really did so well the whole vacation. She napped great, and went to bed great. Since there wasn't a full extra room for her sleep in (and none of us sleep well when we're in the same room - remember Christmas in Georgia and Dan driving around all night to keep her sleeping? UGH!), we put her to bed in our room in the pack-n-play. Then when we went to bed, I picked her up, Dan moved the pack-n-play into the living room, and she went right back to sleep! It rained a few days there, but we still had some really nice days.

Guess that's all finally. I should be able to post more often now that I feel better. 11 weeks, 3 days. Starting to see some hope!

Win cloth diapers!

Go here to enter: http://babycheapskate.blogspot.com/2008/07/giveaway-12-bumgenius-30-diapers.html

I'm trying to win since it would be a great way to save money in the future. 10 weeks today. So far no reason to worry, but I'm still not believing we'll be ok...

Stuff

Been busy:

• vacation with my parents and bro
• MISERABLE AWFUL MORNING ALL DAY SICKNESS. Due Feb. 17. Saw the heartbeat a few times, still nervous since my miscarriages.
• my sis is taking over my job for a month or so until I start to feel better
• put myself on bedrest for my peace of mind

Guess that's all. Rissa is hilarious and wonderful. More later :-)

3s

Yesterday, June 4, was our 3rd wedding anniversary. After dating for 3 years, we were married in my home church in NY, and had a beautiful reception in some gorgeous gardens.

Love ya, hun!

We're baaaaack!

Sorry it's been so long. We went to NY for the long weekend to visit my parents and grandparents, and I've just been too busy to catch up on here! I'm sure you don't want the entire weekend play-by-play, so I'll write today's "ketchup" in bullet style:

• We left Thursday around 3. I didn't put Rissa down for a nap, hoping she'd just take a long one in the car. Well, she didn't fall asleep until almost 5, and then only slept for 20 minutes! She woke up VERY grumpy (wonder why!) so we broke out our latest "secret weapon" - Dan's video iPod, The Backyardigans, and this! It was an instant hit (no surprise) and immediately changed her mood to ecstatic! She watched for a little while, and then we it put away and she was happy and talkative until she fell asleep around 9. We were pleasantly surprised with how well she did in the car, since we haven't travelled anywhere since the big Christmas disaster. She did so well entertaining herself with her cup (pretending it was a baby, kissing it, etc. - lol) and a few toys, and when she was tired of them, she was entertaining to us! We just had a good time talking about the funniest things: supposedly she was wearing Timmy's socks, and Timmy (friend of Dan's, well, I guess my friend too, lol) was wearing her socks - where does she get this stuff??? About 2 miles down the road when we left at 3, she started saying "All doh (all done) Frissa's car, nuh-uh!!! Muuuum, where are yooooouuuuuuu?" I was very worried that we were in for a miserable trip, but obviously she reconsidered spending a little more time in "Frissa's car"!
• Friday was a relaxing day, and we spent some time outside with my mom, aka Gramma = "Mum."
• Saturday we got up and went to a drop-in shower for a family adopting their first baby. She was adorable, and Marissa ended up wandering around with a bunch of little (and big) girls, all holding hands. It was so adorable! One of the girls was also named Marissa - she was in the Kindergarten class that I spent a week with waaaaaay back in my freshman year at college. She was by far the cutest girl in that class, and I just fell in love with her. You know, the favorite you're never supposed to have? Haha, anyways, she goes to my old church now too, and is still beautiful. She was the inspiration for naming our daughter Marissa, and she thought that was very cool. She hung around Marissa a lot, and I can tell if we lived there, she'd be an awesome babysitter in a few years!
• My dad mowed the lawn Saturday afternoon, and took Marissa out on the tractor for a little while. She thought it was the coolest thing ever. It was so cute to watch her laugh and giggle as they sped around the yard. Expect pictures!
• Sunday we went to church with my family, and then headed to a local park for an afternoon picnic. It was a BEAUTIFUL day, and we had a blast. I finally got some sun, so I'm not totally pale anymore. And Marissa totally wore herself out! We knew it was risky, but we decided to skip her nap, since it would be right in the middle of things and there wasn't a good place for her to nap at the park. She never even noticed! She ran around like a maniac the entire afternoon and didn't bother to eat much at all. Lol. Wherever we were, she had to run in the opposite direction as fast as she could! She finally crashed on the 8 minute drive home, and slept for an hour in her Gramma's lap!
• Over the weekend, she learned zillions of new words and phrases. But there are two that just crack me up. Dan randomly asked her to say "Mississippi" and she repeated it perfectly, only a bit twisted: Missippissi (Miss-i-pee-see). We also got to look at many caterpillars at my parents' house. After telling her they were caterpillars, she very carefully repeated "catter-boo-foo" and continued to say it exactly that same way every time!
• Monday we left around 11:30am. Again, this was risky for us, but based on the drive there, we thought Marissa would be fine. And we were right! She took a nice normal almost-2-hour nap in the middle of it, but the rest of the time she just played and talked with us. She watched a little of The Backyardigans, but overall, the drive was very successful. Surprise, surprise, our little girl is growing up!
• Tuesday I worked my second real day at the massage clinic. Blah...More on this later.
• Today a bunch of guys came from the company we built our house through, and did touch-up on all the drywall issues we had at the 10-month check-up. Which means...

IT'S TIME TO PAINT!!!!!

We went to Lowes tonight and bought some paint samples, and the plan is to go back and get the full amount once I decide, and PAINT SATURDAY! I'm soooooooooooooo excited to get rid of these BORING off-white walls! I'm starting in the living room/dining room/kitchen. It's one ginormous room, with no place to change paint colors. So I hope it won't be too overwhelming. But since BEFORE we moved in, I've been picturing it a beautiful light/bright green color. Dan is tolerating it, but I can tell he doesn't care one bit! Lol. After painting, a nice new couch is all we will need to complete our downstairs (at least for now)! There's obviously a bunch of other stuff I want to do/buy, but I won't mind waiting once the painting is done and a couch is in! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Definitely look for pictures of this on Sunday!

• HAHA, I almost forgot the best story from our weekend away:
  Sunday morning, everyone was waking up and getting ready at different times. Soon after I woke up, I found Marissa playing upstairs with someone, and decided to take her downstairs to get her dressed. Well, my parents live in kind of a split level. You walk in to the main floor, but there is about 3/4 of a stairway that goes up to the bedrooms, and 3/4 of a stairway that goes down to the family room (there's also a basement 3/4 of a stairway below that). Also, all the floors are hardwood floors, including the stairs. So anyways, we were all the way upstairs by the bedrooms. I took Marissa by the hand, and slowly started to lead her down the stairs. Instead of keeping her safe...instead of her slipping on her socks like we all were terrified of all weekend...I SLIPPED ON THE TOP STEP and bounced my way all the way to the bottom! Thankfully, Marissa somehow let go of my hand, and simply sat on the very top step and watched her mommy bounce all the way down the stairs! By the time I reached the bottom, everyone had come running (well, except for Dan who somehow slept through the entire thing!). Also, by the time I reached the bottom, I was laughing hysterically! Poor Marissa didn't know what to think! My mom picked her up right away, and then she wanted to come to me. But she didn't actually cry, which was surprising. So yeah, I'm pretty sore and have some awesome bruises. But the funniest part about the whole thing, is that for the next few days - in fact even today still - she said over and over "Mama fell over? Fall down stairs? Mama hurt? More fall stairs?" LOL. Poor girl, traumatized for life!
  

• And lastly, a quick story from (nanny) work:
  They have a circle to run around (you know, kitchen, dining room, living room), and Marissa and H. will run around forEVER! And after every loop, Marissa says "more running?" and they just run and run and run, and giggle the whole time! Marissa somehow convinced her Grandpa to run the loop at my parents' house, but that didn't last nearly as long! I'm so glad this nanny job is such a good fit for us. I don't always have the most patience, and I don't always enjoy it. But Marissa loves every second of it, and I'm even starting to have fun!

Oddities

So Marissa has always been the best sleeper, and has gone to sleep so easily and quickly for nap and bedtime. But suddenly, Friday (the day after I started working my new evening job!!!), she started this new thing. For nap (if Dan and Rach are both here) and bedtime. We go around and everyone gets a night-night hug/kiss, and then one of us (so far it doesn't matter who) takes her upstairs and gets her ready for bed and puts her in her crib. But instead of laying down with her blanket on her and quietly babbling til she falls asleep, she now hysterically screams to "bye Dada, bye Ra-ra" like she didn't get to say good-night to them. She seriously cries so hard because she wants to say bye to them again (or whoever doesn't put her to bed). The first time she did it, Rach was putting her to bed, so Rach just came downstairs and let her say good-night to us again. And yesterday, Dan and I were getting ready to leave to go to my work meeting and then out to dinner and a movie (for Mother's Day since he was out of town last weekend). She could tell we were getting ready to leave cuz we were both all dressed up and had our shoes on already. And Rach was just starting to do her hair since we are all lazy on Saturdays. So I think Marissa thought everyone was leaving her while she napped. But I assured her we weren't leaving her alone, and eventually just decided to let her stay up til we left, and then Rach would just put her to bed after we were gone. Then today she did the same thing for nap and bedtime, crying SO HARD to get what she wanted. So now I think she has just figured out a way to postpone going to bed! Isn't that bizarre? The first few times she did it, I gave in and comforted her and reassured her over and over. But today, I just told her she already said good-night to them, and then started to leave her room. When she realized I was leaving even though she was crying, she suddenly insisted she needed her blanket on, so she finally laid down and calmed down a little. She still whined quite a bit before she fell asleep, but at least she knew I wasn't going to take any more manipulation. Can you believe what she is up to? WOW!

I just really hope this whole nap/bedtime thing is not because of me starting my evening job. If it continues, I will be quitting immediately! I only work one day this week, then two days next week (because of appointments and stuff), but the following week my schedule will be kinda crazy. If Marissa starts becoming upset too easily, or thinking that everyone is leaving her - I will quit with now qualms whatsoever. More money is not worth her misery

This afternoon, after her nap, we went to the mall and were walking through JC Penney's I think. We were walking past the men's section, and suddenly she loudly exclaims "Oh no!" and walked off the walkway. The flooring was hardwood off the walkway and in each end of every individual plank was a big dark brown circle, supposed to look like a nail or something I guess. But she thought something fell all over the floor! She kept trying to pick up each dot but she obviously couldn't. It was funny!

She's still so funny lately, but she's definitely starting to form some stronger opinions. I just mentioned to Dan and Rach the other day that I was suprised that Marissa wasn't acting out and throwing too many tantrums, but I guess I spoke too soon! Haha, we had a few interesting experiences at the mall today, including one SUPER loud screaming session in a tiny store. Here comes the fun of "terrific" twos!

Counting

Marissa can now count to 20, and hearing her say all the "teens" makes me smile every time. I think I need to get it on video.
"one, two, pee, foh, pive, sic, seven, ay, nine, ten, leven, elve, tir-teen, fur-teen, fi-teen, uh-teen, uh-teen, uh-teen, ni-teen..." actually I don't think she even says 20. Lol.

I got another part-time job! I will be working a few nights a week, and probably every other Saturday at a massage place nearby. I'll be their evening receptionist, doing some filing, and checking people in and out of their appointments. It's dimly lit, and they play "massage music" and it's going to be so relaxing to work there! I started with some training on Thursday, we have a scheduling meeting on Saturday, and then I start next week! I'm excited, but really nervous. I haven't had a "real" job in 2 years when I quit a job at the daycare cuz I was punched in the face by a 4 year old and was pregnant, sick, and moody. Lol. All the jobs I've had since did not include an application, contract, tax forms, or anything else. I'm not really worried about the actual job, just worried about being gone in the evenings. Away from Marissa, and losing that time to do things around the house (ha, I mean losing that time to watch my evening shows and relax). I'm still working every day 9-1 at my nanny job, but I'll still have my afternoons while Marissa sleeps, and then Marissa time before Dan gets home to let me leave around 4:30. I think my hours end at 9, so I'll still have some time when I get home too. Overall, not too bad, and it'll be nice to get some extra spending money. When I was training, I was worried that Marissa would freak out, since I'm hardly ever gone from her. But I guess she only asked about me a few times! It was busy enough that I didn't have time to wallow, but when I got home and Dan and Rach were telling me about their evening, I was sad that I missed it. I'm such a wimp! I guess my big girl is bigger than I realized!

Guess that's all. I'm trying to remember to post here more often, instead of on my other blog. I guess you could go there if you want www.xanga.com/rccalyn. But it's mostly protected so only people on my list can read recent posts. Time to go figure out what's for dinner tonight! Yay, it's FRIDAY!

Some things I want to remember:

• Marissa knows so many words, and comes up with new ones every day. Yesterday morning, when it was just the two of us up nice and early, she asked me to hold "this part" of something so she could hold the rest. But what is even cuter than actually knowing all the names of things, is when she points to something, says "this?" and clearly needs to know the name of it!
• At work, we watch Blue's Clues every morning during M's bottle. It occupies H so he doesn't beat up Rissa when I can't defend her as easily, and gives them a little something to look forward each morning. Marissa doesn't really pay attention very well - she prefers The Backyardigans, The Wonder Pets, Ni hao Kai lan, or Dora. So she just plays around the living room while H sits in his "thinking chair." So imagine my surprise when suddenly, Thursday afternoon, after her nap, she found a piece of cardboard, and immediately started singing "We just got a letter" and shaking the "letter" back and forth in front of her, exactly like the guy does on Blue's Clues. She was grinning, and when I realized what she was imitating, I started laughing, and she thought she was just so funny!
• Yesterday morning she was standing next to me and started coughing a little. After two coughs that weren't helping, she turned around, showing her back to me, and managed to grunt out "pat me" before she started coughing again. I patted her back, and she stopped coughing. LOL.
• I always wear a hooded zip-up sweatshirt at work. I'm always cold, even in my own home, so I'm even colder in someone else's house where I don't control the heat. Apparently I put my hands in the pockets often, because now every time Marissa wears a hooded zip-up sweatshirt, she puts her hands in the pocket and walks around like she's so cool, giving me a little smirk cuz she knows she's imitating her Mama.
• She can now count to 20 all on her own, give or take a few numbers here and there. She especially loves to count all the M & M's in my The M & M's Counting Book I bought in college.
• We're working on the ABC's, especially at work with H too. Both of them can fill in a missing letter most of the time, especially if it's at the end of a phrase.
• When Dan and I had the 2s & 3s class at church last week, I randomly asked a girl how to spell her name, not really expecting an answer. She surprised me by singing the cutest little song, with the spelling of her name being the first part, and the last phrase was "spells (insert name) every day." It just rhymed so well and was so cute that I had to come up with a "Marissa song" too. So now every night, before we sing Twinkle, Twinkle, we sing the "Marissa song" - M-A-R-I-S-S-A, spells Marissa every day (to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, or some other random tune that helps her fill in a letter). She now requests it, and can sing most of it with us.
• She got a Bible story book from my parents for her birthday, and we've been reading a story in it every night before bed. She now requests "Gog" = God, since we started at the beginning obviously, and learned about how God made everything.
• Yesterday morning, she picked the crumbs off her chair (underneath her booster seat for meals), and one by one, brought them over to me to show me. And when I told her they were trash, she took them one by one to the trash can.
• After she cleaned all the crumbs off, she put her baby in her seat, put a bib on baby, and proceeded to feed baby a bottle. She has only learned about bottles recently, since I nursed her forever and she never took a bottle. She's been watching me feed M a bottle at work, and in the 2s class at church, all the older girls were fighting over the only bottle in the room. So the other day, when we walked into Walmart, out of the blue, she started saying "baby bottle, please?" over and over again! How could I refuse? So I bought her two baby bottles.
• She is really into pretending with her baby, and her doll house. Her doll house is on her new table, sitting in the middle of her bedroom. She didn't used to have many toys up there, and the ones that were up there, she got sick of fast. So this new location for her doll house (that she got for Christmas) has really made her play with it more. Every morning, it's the first thing she sees, and the first thing she requests to play with. So after I change her diaper, while I'm washing my hands and throwing the diaper away in the bathroom, she plays with her doll house. Her soft voice babbling away is so cute to listen to. She talks about the mama, dada, and baby, and places them around the house. Usually the mama and dada are in the doorway. Lol.
  
• Since we watch Blue's Clues, H always has a zillion "notebooks" around his house, all with a crayon in the top. Marissa started obsessing over them as well, so for her birthday I got her a few from the dollar store. I put a crayon in each of them, and now she carries them around. She draws in them a little, but mostly asks other people to "draw Frissa."
• Haha, speaking of "Frissa" - that's how she still says her name. And when she's using it possesively, like "Marissa's car" she says it "Frissy's car." I will be sad when she learns to say her name properly. Frissy is just too cute!
• She mostly feeds herself now, even with a fork and spoon. But once in a while a food is just too messy for me to let her. But if someone is feeding her, she can only have a certain amount of food in her mouth at a time. If she thinks she's not ready for the next bite, she will say "wait" and finish chewing. Then, when she's ready, she'll say "ready!"
• If she's trying to do something, and someone is in her way, she says "mush" = move. Kinda reminds me of a dog sled in the snow.
  

Well, Dan's coming back from his brother's college graduation this afternoon, and we're going out to celebrate Mother's Day tonight. I think we're going to the Indian restaurant for our meal, then running over to Bravo for our favorite amazing dessert. Can't wait!

*Clarification on my previous post: I have left Marissa for a few hours or an evening. But not much longer than 2-3 hours, and not very often. Since my sister lives with us, she's a built-in babysitter, so we take advantage of that often, just not for long periods of time.

_______________________________________________________________

On a serious note, this Mother's Day seems weird to me. My first Mother's Day, Marissa was only about 2 weeks old. Second, she had just turned 1. Now I am the mother of a 2 year old. But not ONLY a 2 year old. There are 2 babies in heaven that had the potential to be a part of our family. I could have been a mother of 2 children by now. Or expecting another child in July. But I'm neither of those. And I think I'll always remember March and July, and remember the possibilities. But for now, I am thoroughly enjoying loving my one and only daughter. She is such a joy, and I am blessed to be her mama. If we were in the throes of a newborn stage right now, or if I was hugely pregnant, I don't think I would be able to enjoy Marissa quite as much as I have been lately. So I'm taking comfort in that, and using it to convince myself that it really was the best path for my life to take. Even if it didn't seem like it at the time, and still doesn't sometimes. God knew what He was doing. But God? If you get this memo...My greatest fear is losing a (future) 3rd...