Venting

• Could someone please explain to me the current ridiculous fad of spring jackets-COATS with 3/4 length sleeves??? I mean, what next? Short sleeved winter coats? Example: here - WHY??? All I want is a cute jacket that I can wear over my long-sleeved light-weight shirts for all this warmer-but-still-cool weather! I have looked in every store I can think of! I DARE YOU to find me a cute spring jacket under $75 with long sleeves. Oh, that's the other thing - why do they cost $100, when you don't even get full sleeves?

• You may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much lately. Let me tell you why. When we moved here, and started finishing the basement, all our computers were put down there to use. You might remember that it was difficult for me to get time down there because it wasn't safe for Marissa to play down there. So Dan brought home a laptop from work (he sometimes has to work at home, so they provided it for that reason), and I've been using that as my computer since we moved. Well, a few months ago, the power cord started slowing dying, and there has never been any battery left on this old thing. So once the cord officially was useless, Dan and Timmy took the laptop completely apart, and installed another power-cord-hole (whatever it's called) to make the cord start working again. It's not an exact match to this computer, but it has worked fine. Well, within the past month, it stopped working fine. It can be fine, all plugged in, and just sitting there, no one touching it, when all of a sudden, it unplugs. Which, with no battery, will all of a sudden make the computer turn itself off. So I'm usually right in the middle of something, and then I have to completely restart the computer. Needless to say, this is definitely NOT ideal, and actually ticks me off pretty good. I've been known to slam the laptop shut (I know, since it's such a quality piece of equipment, I should probably be more careful - lol), and the other night I almost threw it out our back window. So that's why you don't, and won't, see me on here very often. Once the basement is finished (and we are getting close! The bedroom and bathroom will be completely done by this weekend, except for carpet!) I will be able to get on my real computer, and let Marissa play in her playroom! YAY! But in the meantime, I'm probably trying desperately to read your site, only to have to restart my computer every 3 sentences.

I guess that's all of the venting. Work is still going pretty well. We have been able to go outside and take long walks, since the weather has been so awesome. And it's great. It wears the kids out, and makes the time go faster. Next weekend, Dan's parents and my parents are all coming out here for Marissa's 2nd birthday party!!! I can't believe it! I've been working hard at finishing all the painting in the basement, and my back is still killing me! Next week I will be busy cleaning and getting everything ready for the party weekend. So the next time I post, I'll probably be a mother of a 2-year old! Don't worry though, Marissa has been getting in LOTS of practice as a 2-year old!

The best/worst word in the toddler language, and other random tidbits

Marissa and H (at work, 5 months older than Rissa) sit across from each other for lunch, each in separate toddler seats. The other day, I was in the kitchen getting their lunches together, and I could hear them in the dining room:

Marissa: Mine!
H: No, mine!
Marissa: No, mine!
H: No, mine!

I peeked around the corner, confused, because what could they be fighting over? They were simply yelling at each other over nothing. Lol. And they were both grinning and giggling at the same time.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

I think I've finally found a "referee" technique that works. It actually works pretty well too, since H and Marissa are so close in age, and they generally understand things at about the same level. H always wants whatever toy Marissa happens to grab first, so it's "Marissa's turn" until she puts it down. They are not allowed to take a toy out of the others' hands. Either ask or wait til they're done. Same goes for Marissa. And the baby, M, as well (Well, I mean when H or Rissa wants something she's playing with, obviously not the other way around. Lol). So a kid will pick up something they want to play with, the other kid will scream across the room "MINE" and start running to retreive prized possesion, and before they even get there to smack down the other kid for said toy, I will stop them and remind them that it will be their turn when the other kid puts the toy down. Phew! I've always struggled when it comes to sharing toys between toddlers and how much/if at all to intervene. But I think this method is best for my sanity (less punching and pushing from the agressor - not Marissa by the way) and it's easy to be consistent, even if it's against my own daughter.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Friday night, Dan, Jeremy, Timmy, and I went to a Skillet concert. Wow. Kinda left me speechless. I'm not really sure why I agreed to go, maybe because Dan specifically asked me to. Anyways, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was definitely not what happened! The two bands who opened for Skillet were really, um, hardcore? I don't even know how to describe them. Not really my type of music. But somehow I really enjoyed the night. It was waaaaay too loud (aren't all concerts that way?) and we had to stand most of the time, but I forgot how much I like the bass boom in music. Lol. But I don't think I'd go again if I knew what I was in store for. And it probably would have helped if I had known any songs by any of the bands. Lol.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Rach and I primed the basement room (that Dan and Jeremy finished drywalling) yesterday. And today my back is painfully spazzing like crazy. Not a good sign. Especially since we need to finish priming tonight, and then we still have to actually paint it soon too. I am definitely a wimp. But it was sooooo fun to paint! I can't wait to paint the rest of our house!

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Anybody ever had Jamaican Jerk steak? On our honeymoon to St. Lucia, we ate at one of the restaurants at the resort almost every night, and I got the same thing every time - Jamaican Jerk pitas. Since then, we've been obsessed with that seasoning. We bought some down there to bring back with us, and it was just as good, but since that ran out, like 2 years ago, we've sadly missed it! We've tried numerous different bottles of "Jerk" seasoning from every store, but nothing even came close. Well, Dan found a recipe from a cooking show (don't ask, his thing, not mine!) and we tried it last week and it was complete heaven! It was the best steak I've ever had, and it was soooooo yummy and sooooo spicy - just perfect! And I'm not usually a steak person. But now I'm begging him to make it all the time! YUM!

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

I guess that's all for now. I have Wednesday and Thursday off from work, and I'm excited. The weather here is finally WONDERFUL and SPRINGY! And that just makes the world a better place! Haha. So I can't wait to take Marissa outside to enjoy it. We went outside this morning, while the baby was sleeping, and H and Marissa ran all over their yard. But there wasn't much to do, so I'll have to figure something out. Also, if the baby isn't sleeping (or can nap in a stroller - need to ask) I want to take some walks around their neighborhood. It's really nice, and has an old charm to it. But I need tips on keeping both toddlers from racing into the road or a mile ahead of me with a stroller! Should be interesting, at least they both listen pretty well, and I expect it to only get better with time.

Wow, Marissa slept for 2.5 hours at naptime! Wooohooo!

Music and stuff

If my life was were could be a musical, I'd want the soundtrack to be the soundtrack from The Holiday. I love that movie, but the music in it just makes it 10x better. More dramatic. More emotional. Happier. Sadder. Better.

So I know us "young folk" are supposed to be all about new technology, but I must admit that even though Dan has an iPod, I didn't get one until Tuesday. I did not buy it, but a friend (Thanks Timmy!) gave it to me, since he no longer used it. After spending forever trying to figure out iTunes, I finally filled it up with my music and listened to it for the first time last night. I had forgotten how great music is. I used to listen to music allllllllll the time. But since getting married, living in a small apartment, and having Marissa, and especially with all the changes music has gone through in my lifetime (tapes, cds, now mp3s), I haven't listened to music (other than in the car) in years! Last night I listened to so many songs I hadn't heard in ages, and realized I need to get back into listening to music. It's so amazing to me that I can hear a song I haven't heard in 8 years, and still know all the words, all the melody/harmonies, and even the random background vocals! Lol. If you know me, you know I have the WORST memory possible, without actually having a disease. But I can still remember song lyrics from high school. I'm sure I'm not the only person this applies to, which makes it even more impressive that the human mind can contain so much, even if it is useless song lyrics!

In other news, I know I haven't been updating as often as I should. I've just been busy I guess. I work every day 9-1, so when I get home, I put Marissa to sleep and take some time for myself. Or do dishes. Lol. Lately Marissa's been pushing her naptime from 1:30 when we get home, to 2:30 today. I don't know if it's because she almost falls asleep in the car, then wakes up too much to fall back asleep right away. Or if she's just getting older and not needing a nap as early. But she's been babbling for 40 minutes, then whining for 5, then starts crying, so I have to go up and re-start the nap routine to get her back on track. It's pretty pitiful to watch/listen to her cry so hard for "down" when I know she just needs to lay down and she'll crash. Several days in a row, when I went back up, she got so mad that she just wouldn't lay down. I always ask her if she wants her blanket on, and she said no. But as soon as I would go to leave, she'd get hysterical because she wanted her blanket on! Too funny. At least she's still eventually sleeping. Thank heavens she's not in a big girl bed yet, so I can keep her contained in her crib!

On top of still being at a new job with Marissa, I have had a stupid cold/allergies for almost a week now. It's really getting old. My poor nose and throat are just killing me. Marissa has had a stuffy/runny nose too, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all. I've also been waking up with a stiff neck all week, I think because I've been carrying a baby around a lot at work, and I'm not used to that. Ouch. But work is as fun as work can be I guess. Marissa and H have so much fun together, when they're not fighting "MINE!!!" over any toy they see. Lol. Today at lunch, they were buckled in separate seats across the table from each other, and I still heard "MINE!" "NO MINE!" over and over while I made lunch. But they really play well most of the time. H has already learned a few of my rules, and although he doesn't always follow them, he always remembers the second I say something. I've been having trouble getting the baby, M, down for a nap the past few days, so she ends up sleeping in her swing. I know the mom doesn't care, but I really hope it doesn't start to become a habit, because it's annoying!

The other day I went shopping at Target. Definitely one of my weaknesses. Especially for Marissa. But she genuinely needed a spring jacket and a bathing suit, among other things, so here is what she got:



Two-pieces are necessary for her, since I have to buy it for waist size, instead of height. Lol. And I also expect to be potty training this summer. I was also looking for a spring jacket for myself, but didn't find A THING! In Kohl's, the only spring jackets they had were $100! The jacket I got Marissa also comes in khaki, and I really just want the same one in my size! Do you think OshKosh will help me out at all? Lol.

Well, Marissa woke up. Rachel (my sis who lives with us) is making dinner tonight (YAY!) so I just need to do some dishes. And I really need to go get my bloodwork done. I was supposed to have it taken 3 months after the last time (sometime after my miscarriage in December), and 3 months was the beginning of March. Oooops! Hopefully I'll have time today, and will finally stop forgetting!

Pregnancy, miscarriage, fertility, infertility, siblings, honesty, and JEALOUSY

This post has been brewing in my head for about a month, and it's time to get some things off my chest. I've been hesitant to write about all of this, because many of my friends are pregnant, or just had new babies. I want to say that I honestly am happy for all of you (I'll only say that once, but it will be true throughout this whole post). I still love to hear about the pregnancies, births, and new-baby life. But at the same time, I hate to hear about them, because I want it to be me. This may not be the best written post, and it might be a bunch of disjointed thoughts, but it's something I need to say.

I thought I was supposed to have a baby in March. When I miscarried in July/August, I knew for a week or so that it was probably going to happen. I was upset, but since we got pregnant so easily, I moved on quickly with plans for another baby as soon as possible. But since my second miscarriage in December, March didn't pass by as easily as I had expected. Babies have been born to moms that got pregnant around the same time I did. And it kills me inside to miss that for myself. June/July will be even harder than March has been, because I thought I was supposed to have a baby then as well. And it will kill me inside to miss that for myself. And Marissa.

I don't have any doubts that as soon as we start trying again, I'll get pregnant easily. But we are waiting for other reasons, and it's killing me inside. We've discussed it in great length, but it's best that we wait.

I also feel so guilty for that, because there are so many women who don't have that confidence. They've tried for months or even years, and still don't have a healthy child to show for it. What right do I have to complain about my perfectly wonderful (yet small) family?

My new job. Families I see in stores. Siblings on blogs I read. There are so many times I hurt inside because I want to give Marissa a sibling. When she turned 1, I realized that I wanted a small age difference, and even if I got pregnant right that second, it was going to be a bigger difference that I ideally wanted. Almost a year later, we are still no closer to having a sibling for her, and she's only getting older. To watch her with the 7 month old at my new job, I just know she would be THE PERFECT big sister. She's so gentle, giving kisses and hugs any time the baby even starts to whimper. She tells me to pick the baby up to make her feel better. She gives her toys, her pacifier, and even tried to give her her bottle once. She's been in love with every baby she's seen for at least 6 months.

I want to be pregnant. I want to feel a life growing inside me. I want to have 9 months of giddy anticipation. I want to ENJOY newborn life, because with Marissa I was so miserable breastfeeding at first, I don't even remember her first 4 months or so. I want to watch Marissa cuddle a tiny baby, and have that baby be ours. I want to watch Marissa grow up to be close to her siblings, in age and in love.

There were so many thoughts in my head, somehow I thought this post would be longer. But I guess that about sums it up. I am suffering from extreme jealousy and bitterness. I realize I have so much to be thankful for, but it's hard, when there's still so much that I want for our life. I'm doing better with it, but I still have a long way to go, and I'm not sure I'll ever be completely over it all. Somewhere, God has a reason for all this CRAP that I've gone through. But I'm still waiting to find that out.

Ketchup

Easter Weekend
My parents and brother Jeff arrived from NY Thursday night, and my grandparents from PA arrived Friday for dinner. We pretty much just sat around, talked, played with Marissa, and ate awesome food. But on Saturday the men went to some museum and the rest of us went to get Marissa's FIRST HAIR CUT! We went to one of those kid's places so Marissa got to sit in a car and watch The Wiggles while the lady took 2 seconds to snip Marissa's mullet off. Lol. It looked kinda weird at first, but after a bath it curled under, and looks pretty cute. We had so much fun with all the family here. Marissa loved everybody and had a blast. It's kinda funny, because she must have been so confused by all the grandparents and their names! She calls my mom "Mum!"(I called her "Mom" too often in front of her), my dad is "Pah-pah" but so were my grandparents, and she says "Pah-pah" the same way for Dan's dad too! As soon as they all left though, she was asking for every single one of them! This is how it went:

Rissa: "Mum? Pah-pah? Jep?"
Me: "They went to NY" or "They went to PA"
Rissa: "Me, Nyork"
Me: "You want to go to NY?"
Rissa: "Yeah!"
Me: "Me too"
Rissa: "Shoes?"

She really thought we'd be going! Poor girl. I wish we all lived closer. It was sad for everyone to leave, but my parents will be back for Marissa's birthday in a month, and hopefully Dan's parents will be able to come too. Oh, that reminds me, I need to go buy her the little bike from Walmart before they run out!

New Job
Monday was the first day of my new job. We got there a little before 9, and got home a little before 2. I wonder if she'll pay extra when she's late? Anyways, it wasn't too bad. The baby girl, M, is 7 months old and the boy, H, is 5 months older than Marissa. Marissa and H played well together most of the time. They pushed a dump truck back and forth forever. Both enjoyed throwing balls all over the place. But M was a tough baby today. She seemed pretty easy going when we visited last week, but today she just was not happy. It doesn't help that the mother doesn't have any sort of routine for her, she just said feed her when she's hungry and put her in her bed when she's tired. Hopefully once she gets to know me better, she won't be as grumpy. H was a little aggressive with Marissa, which I was expecting and prepared for. It made her scared of him for a few minutes each time he did something, but she got over it quickly. I think it will be good for Marissa to be a little rougher and tougher, but I won't let him hurt her. Marissa loved baby M. Every time she started crying, Rissa would run over to her and try to hug her. It was so cute, even though it made M cry even harder. Lol. The morning went by very slowly, but also quickly too somehow. The hardest part was lunch, because that was when M was the most grumpy, and I was scrounging around their kitchen for something Marissa might eat. H is a good eater, so hopefully that will rub off on Marissa a little bit! It was kinda annoying because they don't have very many clocks in their house, and every clock I saw had a different (wrong) time on it! So I had to carry around my phone in my pocket all morning so I had some idea of what time it was. All in all, though, it wasn't awful. And I suspect it might get better after a few days. I'm starting off by being very strict with H so he knows his limits! I have no desire to watch a boy that I've grown to hate because he won't listen to me! I think this job will be ok, as long as H learns I'm the boss, and as long as M starts liking me.

We got home from work at 2, and I rushed Marissa into her crib. She slept for over 2 hours, while I recovered from our crazy morning. Their house was pretty chilly, so I got to curl up on my couch with my blanket and read some blogs

When Rach got home Monday night, Dan and I went to Brio (Italian restaurant) while Rach watched Rissa. I didn't really want to go, because I felt bad about not giving Marissa my full attention all day at work, but Dan and I enjoyed the time alone, and Marissa had fun with Rach. I'm nervous that Marissa will start to act up or be upset since we've never worked every day before, and it will be more difficult for me to give her the same attention she's used to. Hopefully I can make up for it when we're home.

The first three days of working have gone better than I expected. By Tuesday the baby was happy and fine with me, and Marissa and H get along so well. Marissa loves the baby too. It is wearing her out though - today she slept for 3 hours! Totally unheard of for her!

I guess that's all. If you're on Xanga, I posted zillions of pictures. If you're on Xanga and I don't have you on my list, just let me know. If I know you well enough, I'll add you so you can see pictures!

Woooooo!

I got the job! We start Monday! My parents and bro are here! I'm going to bed!

Crazy times

Well, I should be in bed, but instead, here I am! I've been racing around like a mad-woman this week, trying to get everything ready for my parents, bro, and grandparents who are coming to visit this weekend! I'm so excited! But since I got a bunch of stuff at the new Ikea last week (AWESOME!) and I'm constantly rearranging furniture anyways, there's way too much to do. And I still have to clean! I need to dust the living room, bookshelves, and piano. I need to scrub our tub and wash our sink. I have to clean the toilet and sink in the 1/2 bath. I need to sweep and mop the kitchen floor, the entryway floor, the 1/2 bath floor, the master bath floor, and the mudroom floor. I need to do laundry, put it away, then vacuum the hallway where all the laundry sits in a pile til I get to it. I need to finish hemming my new Ikea curtains and hang them up. PLUS we need groceries for everyone this weekend!

On top of all that, tomorrow Marissa and I are going to visit a lady and her two children about a possible nanny position. The only negative thing about the whole situation is that they have a cat. But other than that it sounds AWESOME! I really hope the visit goes well, her house is clean, and the cat hates people. Lol. It's about-freaking-time I found some job possibilities! I've been looking since at least January, and this is literally the first person I've corresponded with about a job. I send zillions of people emails, and left messages, but no one likes me I guess cuz none of them responded. Except for one lady, who even gave me a date to start working, but never called, never emailed back, never answered my frantic emails WAY past the date I was supposed to start. How rude is that? Anyways, I'm very excited about maybe finally finding a job. Especially one this awesome. It's only mornings, and it's very close, so we'll come home for lunch and nap, so I won't have to worry about Marissa REFUSING to nap, like she did at the end of our last job. Ahhhhhh! Please pray that this works out. I really need this.

Ok, well I need to get to sleep! First I need to find something to wear tomorrow that won't collect cat hairs. Then I'm going to crash! I'll take any tips you have on keeping cats away from me without touching them. Lol. I'm also a bit paranoid about it biting/scratching Marissa. Hmmm, maybe I'll lock it in a bathroom? Ha! Night :-)

Potty Training

Marissa is 22 months old. Far too young for potty training, in my mind. But at her 18-month check up, her pediatrician mentioned that "any time now" is a good time to start. We went to the store that afternoon to buy some pull-ups, undies, and a little potty. For several months now, she has told us as soon as she pooped. She also has been watching me when I use the bathroom. Sometimes she will randomly jump up, run toward the bathroom, start to pull her pants down, and say "pee-pee, pee-pee!" We've put her on the toilet several times, but she hasn't gone yet. She knows exactly what to do on the toilet though - she needs some toilet paper! Right now, it's just a pain though, since she doesn't actually do anything on the toilet. I'm so clueless about this whole potty training thing. So far, it's the most confusing part of parenting for me. I don't want to stop her from "using the potty" but until she actually "goes" it seems to be a waste of time and energy. Should I even bother? I feel bad turning her down, especially since she gets so excited to use toilet paper. Lol. But I'm so sick of changing poopy diapers! I could really use some tips on this whole potty training business, k? Thanks :-)

The Dentist

So growing up, my mom always made sure that my sister, brother, and I got our teeth checked and cleaned at the dentist every six months. I think I only had one or two cavities up until I got married. Once I graduated from college and got married, I found a dentist near our new apartment, and started going every six months, like I had been taught growing up. When I got pregnant two months after getting married, toothpaste was one of the things that set off my "morning sickness." I still brushed my teeth, but not nearly as often as I used to. Now that I'm a homemaker and SAHM, I typically don't even shower until my almost-two year old goes down for her nap. Most days, after my shower, I go back downstairs to eat some cookies or candy. If I ate it in front of my daughter, she would demand some, and I'm just not up to the tantrum when I say no! So I don't brush my teeth then either, because then the goodies would taste funny. And at my last dentist appointment, the doctor seemed confused by all the plaque on a few of my teeth. My question is, should I have confessed to my bad habits? Or just play stupid about why my teeth were so bad? Ha, funny thing is, I did just play stupid. I guess I don't want her to know that I let myself go after I had my daughter. Haha. So anyways, I suppose I should get back to brushing first thing in the morning, and before bed. Oh, I forgot to mention that when I went away to college, I gave up the nighttime brushing. So now that I think about it, I've really just been going downhill! Haha. Do you visit your dentist regularly? Do you even brush regularly? C'mon now, speak the truth :-P

Light Green Living

So lately I've been trying to live my life a little "greener." Not that I'm excessively worried about the planet or anything. I'm actually doing it for some really selfish reasons:

• We're really trying hard to pay off some of our debt we've accumulated, so any way we can save money, we go for it. Many "green living" ideas save money:

  • We use cheap washcloths and dish towels instead of napkins and paper towels. I just do a whole load of those towels in the washing machine, and then we're stocked up again. No need to continually restock a supply of napkins or paper towels. Plus, they just plain work better - no ripping, better scrub power, etc.

  • One word for you: VINEGAR! It's extremely cheap and can be used to about 9 zillion things around the house. Just a few of the things I've used it for recently are:

  • stainless steel cleaner - sparkly, and no streaks!
  • carpet cleaner - rust, unknown goop, toddler pee
  • shower/tub cleaner - spray down after every use to prevent buildup, instead of cleaning buildup
  • dishwasher drying agent *bonus: cleans dishwasher of buildup
  • fabric softener in washing machine rinse cycle * bonus: cleans washer of buildup

  (If you're worried about the smell, it really does go away once things dry!)
  
  

  • Another reason we're goin' green is that so many of the everyday products we use contain nasty, dangerous chemicals. I have an almost-two year old, and the last thing I want is for her to get into those cleaners when I'm looking the other direction. Vinegar is edible! No danger there! I also buy a Seventh Generation brand of dishwasher detergent. The grocery store I shop at carries a whole bunch of Seventh Generation products, although the last time I checked, they hadn't restocked the dishwasher detergent. I hope they do before I need to buy a new one!

  
  I must confess, I still love my Chlorox disinfecting wipes. It gives me more peace of mind when I'm cooking raw meat and my daughter is around. I guess I'm more "green when convenient" but we're working on it. What are some things you're doing to be "green," even if they're not for all the usual reasons?

22 MONTHS

• I can hardly believe it, but in just two short months, Marissa will turn 2! My baby is all grown up! We weighed her at home the other day, and she weighs approximately 21 lbs. Which means she only gained 1 pound in 4 months...I'm starting to be a bit concerned, but there's really nothing more I can do.
  

• Her language is exploding these days! But my absolute favorite word of hers is "poffle" = waffle. Wall, fire, tower (blocks), shirt, snap, raisins, cheerios, water, Uniqua, Pablo, Austin (from The Backyardigans), fork, pillow, blanket, home, car, truck, plane, stairs (to go up or down), socks, yogurt, and book are just a few of the words she has either learned new or refined the pronunciation. Every day she is putting more and more words together to form complete thoughts. Today at lunch, she said "Dada, home? I mish you" so I just had to call Dan and let her talk to him. So precious.

• Monday morning, Rissa and I drove to Indy to visit my friend and roommate from college. Her little boy is 5 months old and Marissa just loved watching him while we were there. She always had to know where "baby" was, and was just fascinated by him. She even succeeded in saying his name, Carter, which turned out pretty cute coming from her mouth. I've got some ridiculous/cute/hilarious stories from our visit:

• We arrived just before lunch, and Marissa had fallen asleep in the car for about 15 minutes before we got there. I wasn't too worried, since she has just been so awesome about her sleeping schedules for several months now. So after lunch, I put her pjs on (they don't have feet, but they snap all the way down) and put her in the pack-n-play. She screamed, but I figured she'd calm down as soon as she got used to the different room. Crap, I can't remember the exact time line of events. Well, she cried on and off for a while, and I went in and reassured her a few times probably. Oh yeah, I gave up and let her play downstairs for a while too, since I thought her cat nap in the car might have messed her up. Once I put her back to bed, she finally quieted down, so I went to check her to see if she was actually asleep. Well, what I found stopped me in my tracks. She was asleep, but her pjs were in a pile next to her, her diaper was all wadded up in a pile on her pjs, and she was completely naked. I debated long and hard about waking her up to put her diaper back on, but decided she needed the nap more than I needed her sheets to stay dry. Lol. She slept naked for an hour! The second I heard her wake up, I ran upstairs to put her diaper on and clean up the mess I expected. But she was completely dry! I was shocked!

• When it was time for bed, I didn't have anything better for her to wear, since I only packed a few things. So I gave her a mini lecture (lol) and hoped for the best. I listened on the monitor, and when she got quiet, I ran upstairs to see what she was up to. When I opened the door, she was standing up in the pack-n-play, holding her pjs and diaper, naked again! This time I think I yelled at her quite a bit. Lol. At this point, I realized we would have this same problem every time she was left alone in the pack-n-play. I asked Laureann if she had any onesies for her little boy that might fit Marissa. The biggest one she had was a 12-month blue football onesie, which fit Marissa perfectly. Lol. So we borrowed that for a few days.
• After all this drama, we all realized that since her pjs didn't have feet in them, I probably could have just put them on her backwards and she would have been stuck in them. So from now on, she either gets a onesie or backwards pjs (or both!) for every nap and bedtime, since she is too smart and figured out snaps and zippers.
  

• 3. The first time Marissa saw Laureann nurse Carter, she looked at me with a funny look on her face, then said "shhhh" (which was her word for nurse, when she asked for it - she hasn't nursed for at least 3 months). On the drive back home, when she was in her car seat, she was holding her baby, and said "shhh" and pretended to nurse her baby. I think it's so cool that she actually still remembers nursing. And as much as I was annoyed by it, and ready to be done, I miss it now! I miss that cuddle time, quiet time, and giggle time with her. She's way too busy to be bothered with cuddle time, quiet time, and giggle time with me very often anymore!

• Wednesday, I made Marissa a half of a peanut butter sandwhich and put it on her plate. Then I made myself a whole peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwhich and sat down next to her to eat it. She took one bite of her sandwhich, then pushed it over to me saying "no, no, no" then took my sandwhich out of my hand, and proceeded to eat the entire thing. So I had to make myself a whole new sandwhich! I was so pleased that she actually ate so much though, that I just let her! Whatever it takes these days!
  

• I'm sure there were other things I wanted to share from our visit with Laureann, but I can't remember anymore. We had such a good time, and Marissa really enjoyed new/different toys. I hope they are able to buy a second car soon, so L and Carter can come visit us!

• Calling all grandparents (great-grandparents?), relatives, and close friends: Birthday party for Marissa the weekend of April 26-27? Sound good? Be here, or else...

• My sister is gone for the weekend, visiting Liberty University in preparation for going to school there in the fall. Rissa already misses her Aunt RaRa!

sorry

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. I got sick Tuesday, Dan got sick Thursday, and the house is a disaster area. We're all better now though, just busy! I'll update again soon, I promise!

Holy Macaroni - Part II

Alternate title: The First Milestone I'm Glad I Missed

Marissa woke up this morning around 7:10, which is a little early, but not bad. But when I walked into her room, I had to rub my eyes. There were little pieces of hot dog (last night's dinner) all over the floor, all over her bed, all down the crib rails, all over her pjs, and matted in her hair. I feel like such a horrible mommy because last night I didn't even check on her at all, so I don't even know when she threw up! I didn't hear anything that sounded like it though, and she had been acting totally fine for several days. I sometimes go in and check her before we go to sleep, but I didn't last night. I'm really hoping she only threw up when she woke up, because I think she'd be pretty upset if she threw up last night and I never came to get her.

Anyways, I whisked her straight into the tub, before anyone else was even up getting ready for work. Then I threw all her bedding in the washer. Then we came downstairs, cuz she was begging for some milk. Before she even drank any, she burped, and spit up some more on her shirt. So we went back upstairs to change her outfit. So far, there hasn't been any more throwing up, but she's definitely a little out of it today. Poor girl. At least this is the first time she's thrown up at all. I guess we are lucky? We're about to have lunch though, and even though I doubt she'll eat much, I'm worried that she will eat, and then throw it up. She's still wetting her diaper normally, and she's had a few minutes of normal playtime this morning. I'm hoping it was just a one-time thing, especially since Dan's parents are supposed to visit this weekend! Seth (little bro of the triplets) used to throw up if he was too upset, so maybe she just woke up upset, and I didn't hear her in time? We'll see...

Ok, time to try out some lunch.

*EDIT* She at a few things for lunch, but hardly anything. Guess she knew she wasn't ready to eat much. Hopefully she naps for a loooooooong time (like yesterday - 2 hours 45 minutes!) so she's better when she wakes up!

Holy Macaroni

It has certainly been an interesting few days since Friday. She had a slight fever on riday, but was acting fine. No more fever now, but her nose definitely has issues, and she's been coughing this nasty little gunky cough. Not very often, but it still sounds awful. One would think she would sleep better since she obviously feels so miserable. But this has not been the case:

Saturday for nap, Dan put her down because Rach and I were cleaning/organizing/finding her room. Instead of going right to sleep, she whined immediate for Daddy, over and over and over and over again, finally peaking at a hysterical cry. We let her cry for a while, thinking she'd still just go to sleep. After about 30 minutes of listening to her cry, stop, whine, cry, stop, whine, etc. she let out a sudden cry even worse than before. So I ran in to check on her. What I found stopped me in my tracks. Her pants were on the floor. Her diaper was in a pile in her crib. She was naked from the waist down (obviously). Her knee was stuck in the crib slats. And she was hysterical. The only good thing was that she hadn't peed all over her bed (*see 'Sunday for nap'). So we cleaned her up, put her clothes back on, comforted her since she was freaked out by getting stuck, and re-did the nap/bedtime routine. We put her back in her crib, and she fell asleep immediately.

Sunday for nap, I put her down like I always do, and Rach and I left to go pick up something for Dan at Lowes (he and Jeremy were working on finishing the basement). I left the monitor downstairs for Dan to listen to in case she pulled the same thing she did on Saturday. He called 20 minutes later to say that she was still crying, so I told him to check on her in case she took her pants and diaper off again. He said he would check on her, re-do the routine, and put her back down. When Rach and I got back, I asked him how it went. He said her pants were on the floor, her diaper was on the floor, and she had peed all over her bed, the edge of the crib, and onto the floor. He did his (manly) best to clean it up, and put her back to bed. When she woke up, I took all her sheets and blankets off, and wiped down the crib, and cleaned the carpet.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, we will now be putting her in her full footie pjs or making sure she is wearing a onesie underneath her clothes for all naps, no matter what. And we follow her to the front door corner to make sure she doesn't remove all her clothes there too.

Sunday night after the Super Bowl (bo-ring!) I actually fell asleep pretty early for a change. I was awoken (woken? awaken?) suddenly at 3am by Marissa whining loudly. Over and over and over and over. So I went in to her room and told her it was still dark so it was still nigh-night time and to lay down and go to sleep. She got really upset when I did that, obviously, but I kissed her and left. She quieted down, and I feel back to sleep immediately, only to hear her doing the same thing again 15 minutes later. Repeat me going to her room. Repeat her crying harder. Repeat her quieting down. Repeat me falling back asleep. Repeat whole process until 4 FREAKING 30am. Finally she actually went back to sleep instead of just being quiet for 15 minutes. Only to wake up before 7am. So I got her and put her in bed with us, and put The Wonder Pets on for her to watch, so I could sleep a little longer. Except she wouldn't sit still, so we came downstairs before 8am. I dozed on the couch while she watched every show known to man. Then she ate a huge lunch: grapes and cheese - lol (she's boycotting meat and pretty much anything else while she's "sick"). Then I napped while she napped, but she whined for so long again, then only slept for less than an hour, so we still didn't get much sleep. I guess that would explain why she whined for about an hour straight before dinner last night. ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Last night she slept much better, but still woke up much earlier than she usually does. And she a basket case this morning. She won't stop crying for anything, except tv. Grrrr. So thats what we're doing. I can tell she's still miserable though, so I guess it's ok. She feels a little warm again too.

She is barely sick, but somehow she has succeeded in making the whole house miserable. I certainly hope this goes away soon.

A bunch of random tidbits...

Rissa's been shouting this one word for a while now, and I haven't been able to figure out what she means. She gets really upset when I don't respond properly, which obviously I can't if I don't know what she means. But yesterday we figured it out - she's calling "STACE!!!" which is what Dan and Rach call me a lot of the time. Silly girl.

Also yesterday, we got the Crayola Color Wonder markers/book out for her to play with. Well, she didn't want to color with them. She wanted me to open each one so she could use them as deodorant, which she smeared all over her shirt! We all died laughing, so of course she continued to do it even more. By the way, those markers are probably the greatest invention ever - she didn't make any kind of a mess using them as "deodorant" because they don't write on clothes, hands, or anything besides the special paper!


Another new discovery: num-num = food, or I'm hungry. She was pointing things out in a book of hers, and the food on the plate was "num-num." She also walked over to the pantry, and asked for num-num. She is obviously imitating me when I say yum about foods (trying to get her to try them), but it's funny how she decided to use it.

Marissa's really going crazy with words lately. She used to call ALLLLL drinks "juice" but she finally figured out "water" and "mulk" which is really awesome because she tells us which one she prefers, and because she never actually drank much juice at all. Lol. She says milk like "mulk" - that's not a typo. It's funny.

She also (just this morning) perfected "duck" to include the ending "ck" sound. It used to be one of the zillions of words that sounds exactly like "da" (cracker, guitar, socks, and all the other ones we haven't identified yet).

She also somehow picked up "Doda" from all the Wonder Pets and Backyardigans she watches - from the commercials. Cuz we never let her watch Dora til she started asking for "Doda" - because that's the most irritating children's show in the world. But now she loves it, and actually responds to all the dumb questions Dora asks, and repeats all the words they say to repeat - even the Spanish ones. So it's kinda cool, but still annoying. Lol. I got her a mini "Doda" at Kroger for $1.19. It was on the top of a Play-Doh container, but she doesn't know that, and she loves to carry it around. She points out "ta-ta" (backpack) and looks for "map" but the map is inside of backpack. I wish she would say backpack differently. Lol.

This morning Rissa disappeared for a few minutes down the hall towards the front door. Since there's nothing for her to do or get into over there, I didn't even pay attention. But the next thing I know, she's running towards me only wearing her shirt! Her little butt cheeks were bare and cold! So I followed her, past her pants in the living room, all the way back to the front door, only to discover a poopy diaper sitting on the floor! That was definitely a first for both of us! Lol. At least it was a "clean" poop so she didn't get poop anywhere - that would have really freaked me out. So I carried her upstairs (out in front of me so I didn't get poop on me) and cleaned her up. I wish I'd thought to take a picture. Hehe.

Right now we're playing the "How much?" game. Every time we get a fake credit card in the mail, I save them for her to use in her purse. Well, somehow she came up with the phrase "how much?" and says it over and over when she's playing with those cards. And she always does it when she's in her kitchen. After she asks, I give a number, and she "swipes" the card through a crack in the wall of her kitchen. Lol.

*EDIT* I almost forgot - happy 21 months, Marissa! She's been obsessed with jumping in her crib and on any mattress lately, ever since we took a toddler gymnastics class together. But she never made it off the ground - until last night! We all got so excited for her, that she got super excited too, and just kept doing it over and over til she almost fell over. I love her!

*EDIT #2* So apparently I can't just write a short post. Anyways, I've been letting Marissa watch Sesame Street sometimes, since she likes Elmo. And we have a book with Elmo, Cookie Monster, and some others in it. And she obviously says Elmo, but she also says "monshur" (monster) and it's pretty cute. Every time any monster (besides Elmo) comes on, she says it, since they all look similar. She also calls any large vehicle "choo-choo" since we saw a train ONCE. It's cute to see how kids generalize things.

20 months

Holy cow...Marissa is 20 months old! I can't believe how close she is to turning 2. Just crazy. We had a good Christmas. Marissa got a bunch of new toys (which she needed!) and Dan and I got some really nice things too. Dan's parents gave us money to buy Marissa a play kitchen, and we got that the day we got back from Georgia. So far she is loving it, and puts just about everything she can fit into the cabinets, stove, and dishwasher it has. It's so fun to watch her enjoying it and pretending with her baby. Thank you Granny and Pop-Pop!

She's starting to say a lot of new words, but even more than that, she's starting to understand a lot more. While we were gone, we slept in the same room as her, so now everytime she goes "nigh-nigh" she asks if we are going too. Lol.

And after every meal she eats, she IMMEDIATELY gets her baby, puts her in her high chair, walks over to the pantry, and says "ummmm" trying to figure out what to feed her baby. I eventually just gave in, so now we give baby a few crackers or goldfish after every meal so Marissa can steal them and laugh hysterically about it.

We are not allowed to buckle her in her high chair - she MUST do it.
We are not allowed to put her pants or socks on her - she MUST do it. She says "I DO IT!" over and over til we let her, although if I'm in a hurry and say "Mommy do it" she'll usually let me. Hehe.

She's a ball of fire these days, and has really started asserting herself even more. Mainly for my own knowledge, I've continued keeping a list of words/phrases she says. So here is the original list, with the new additions at the bottom.

her pronunciation = real word
tee = tv (oops)
boo = spoon
poo = poop (yes, she tells me when she poops! very convienent, but I'm really not ready for potty training!)
tish = tissue
shee = seat (carseat, or booster seat for a meal)
peas = please (she also usually signs it at the same time)
mah = more (she also usually signs it at the same time)
all doh = all done (she also usually signs it at the same time)
tank ooo = thank you
shoes = shoes (definitely her favorite, good grief!)
house = house
bah = ball (also sometimes says bah-bah for ball)
choo choo = choo choo train
baby = baby (another all time fav)
hi = hi
buh-bah = buh-bye
no = no
yesh = yes
puh = cup
ssssss = nurse
Dada = dada
Mama = mama
Ah-ra = Aunt Ra-ra
dee = ding (oven timer)
apple = apple
tash = trash
ell = help
nye-nye = night-night
Cheeeeeeze = cheese (for pictures)

NEW ADDITIONS:
pull and push - and she knows what each one means
hot and brrrrr - and she knows they are opposites
gentle
george (curious george)
ming-ming (the character from the wonder pets to tell me she wants to watch it)
tasha (the character from the backyardigans to tell me she wants to watch it)
ming-ming (when she wants to eat freeze dried mango)
shir = shirt
sweh-shir = sweatshirt
da = socks or crackers, depending on context
boo = book
poo = "I pooped! Change me!"
pee-pee (when we change her diaper, and she asks if there was poop and we say no, she asks about pee-pee + she does it every time we put her in the tub)
spoo = spoon
bow = bowl
poh-poh = pillow
I gotcha = anytime we're chasing her, or anytime she picks up something she dropped
juice = anything she drinks, no matter how many times I correct her with milk or water
keys
jep = jump
yo = yogurt or phone, depending on context
essie = sticker (can you say obsessed?!!)
eyes
nose
mouth
toes
poh-poh = pillow
MOM! = Grandma (guess I called her "Mom" too much)
Pah-pah = Grandpa and PopPop (can't tell the difference when she says it, but we're calling both grandfathers different names, so she might just be confused too)
Jep = Jeff (my bro)
cheerio (I forget how she says it, but we can sorta tell what she means)
dada = hot dog
bah = bath
ch-ch = brush teeth
ap ap = A Nap in a Lap (naptime and bedtime book - more obsessed!)
awwwwwww = complete with high and low tones to complely "awwww" over any baby she sees
ha = hat, although today she actually said the "t" part a few times!
duh = stuck
yusch = lunch
hee = hand, usually she wants us to give her our hand so she can drag us somewhere to get something she wants, lol
gate
cow
clap
boo-boo = anytime she hurts anything even a tiny bit, it's already a boo-boo, said in a very pitiful voice
I know

And she sings Twinkle, Twinkle with us, and by herself. It's so cute. She says "up aboh the" ("up above the") and "ga ga guy" ("like a diamond") very clearly and repeatedly. She's also beginning to sing Ring Around the Rosie too, only that mostly consists of very high-pitched squeals, followed by "ah, ah, DOWN!!!!"

I guess that about covers it. I can't wait to come back and read this in 6 months or so, and see how much she's changed.

Haha, oh man, I almost forgot to post this little story from our trip to Georgia. We ended up coming back a day earlier, and this is why. Marissa slept like an angel for the first two nights. Then the third night, I put her down normal time, but when Dan and I came to bed, she woke up (remember, same room). We told her over and over that it was still "nigh-nigh" time, and that usually does the trick, but not this time. She cuddled with me for a little while, but eventually became hysterically upset, to the point where she would just not calm down, for no apparent reason. It was Dan's night/morning for early duty, so he ended up taking her outside in the car for a quick drive, and then they both stayed in the car all night, til she woke up at 6am for the day. Dan however, only got 1 hour of sleep. The next night, I was so paranoid about the same thing happening that I laid in bed for over two hours, too tense to fall asleep. So instead of spending one more night and leaving in the afternoon to come home, we left Christmas evening around 7 and made it home by 4am. And honestly, we were much more rested that day than before. Lol. I guess that's not really so much a funny story, as it is a miserable one. But it was certainly interesting. She also had a few issues in the car ride down there, so needless to say, we have decided that we are not doing any long drives or staying over anywhere for at least 6 months!


*EDIT* Wow, that was a really long post. Sorry people. Anyways, I realized I forgot to mention the fact that she is saying ME and MINE alot these days. Everything she picks up is "MINE!!!" and she points to herself and says "me." I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore, but I'm still amazed at the things she picks up without us ever using the word, like MINE. We certainly don't go around saying "this is mine" but somehow she just knows! Wow. She had some issues sharing her toys with the other toddler down in Georgia, and only wanted to play with whatever he was holding. It's so fun to watch her little mind develop!

zqhjkngfderfiolkpmnbdswdcgv!!!

Spotting last night. Doctor's this morning. No more heartbeat. Baby was the same gestational age as the miscarriage this past summer: 8 weeks, even though I'm supposed to be 11 weeks. Heard a heartbeat both times, and then poof. It's gone. Possible D&C on Wednesday, or I might wait til after our Christmas trip to Georgia.

Nurses gave me a hug. Rissa gave me kisses and patted my back as I sobbed. She kept asking if I had a boo-boo. Dan's out of town til tomorrow. It's a good thing I have her to cheer me up. No posts til after Christmas. I need some time to myself.

Ooops

Ooops, I've been slacking on this blog. Xanga takes too much of my time, and I forget to update here. Sorry :-)

Since it's been so long, I'll do a bulleted post:

• I'm pregnant! EDD is July 4, 2008 (when my mom was pregnant with me, she was due July 4, but I was born June 22 - so cool to get a baby for my birthday!). I'm almost 10 weeks now, and I've been feeling awful since 6 weeks, 1 day. No actual "getting sick" but I've felt like it for basically 4 weeks now. So fun. Lol. I had my first appointment last week, and got to see and hear little Baby Blob #2. I'm still very nervous after the miscarriage this summer, but so far things are looking better this time around.
• I'm officially DONE WORKING! YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE! My last day was Monday. Marissa keeps asking for the kids - they played so well together. But it's so nice not to have to watch them anymore. It was just becoming too chaotic. Plus, preschoolers bug the crap outta me, so I need to focus on developing Marissa into a preschooler who will NOT bug the crap outta me!
• Marissa is 19 months old already! I just can't believe it. Last week she discovered how to pull her pants down, and in the process, pull her diaper off. So now every time I put her down to sleep, I check her soon after to make sure she isn't going to pee all over everywhere. Lol.
• Thanksgiving in NY was so much fun. The long drives not so much, but having zillions of people who were dying to see Marissa and play with her - it was wonderful to just sit around like a bum cuz I felt so nasty. And Marissa learned names very quickly this visit. Grandpa = Bah-bah, Grandma = MOM (I think I didn't model "Grandma" enough, and called my mom "Mom" too much - lol), my bro Jeff = JESS! (she was in love with him! so cute!). She warmed up very quickly to all the relatives she doesn't see very often, and was the perfect entertainment for everyone and she knew it. Lol.I almost forgot to mention this: Marissa can count to 10! Rach was trying to distract her in the car the other day, and we randomly discovered it. We have no idea how she learned it though. Lol. She says about 7-8 numbers after the correct number before we even say them. I need to catch it on video soon. She knows it's cool too. Hehe. 8, 9, and 10 are the most exciting for her. Lol. She must be smart cuz we definitely never counted to 10 with her before. It's just amazing at what kids can pick up on their own!

She's also picking up a lot more words lately:
pull
open (sounds exactly like apple, context is a must for this one!)
yo = yogurt
yo = phone (another context thing)
ba-da-ba-da-BAY-ooo = we have NO idea! She says this alllllll the time! First she calls our names to get our attention, then says it very emphatically. It's driving me nuts!
La la la la = her singing book

And of course I can't think of any more for now. But she's a ball of energy and full of funny things to say and do. I only wish I had the energy to keep up these days! She's been getting bored with her toys, I can tell, and I can only do so much since I feel so awful. Hopefully after Christmas, with a bunch of new toys, she'll calm down some.

Well, she is tickling my toes right now, so I'd better go :-)

*Insert BIG GRIN here*

If you recall, not too long ago I was so desperate for Marissa to take a good nap that I climbed into her crib with her. Well, drumroll please...

Marissa is sleeping like an angel for bedtime AND naptime! After several weeks of the bedtime routine, she's been doing amazing. So the other day I decided to do the bedtime routine for naptime too. And whatdya know - it worked! I hold off nursing her right before noon, which is when she used to fall asleep, but not stay asleep. So after lunch (12:45, this girl eats slowly!) I change her diaper, read her a "boo" (book) and tell her it's night-night time. Today she cried for 2 minutes. The funny thing is, she totally knows what's going on during the routine. We ask her to say night-night and she says it with such despair and in such a pitiful voice because she knows what it means. But she usually reaches for her crib anyways. I am LOVING the schedule we are on now. When I used to watch the triplets, they were on a very tight schedule (for obvious reasons), and it made the day go faster when I knew what was coming up. Marissa has always set a loose schedule for herself, so it wasn't too bad, but now naptime is at 1, no matter what! Today we went for a looooong walk around the neighborhood, so I'm hopeful that she'll sleep at least 2 hours. The length of her nap doesn't seem to affect her, and it varies so much from day to day.

The only frustrating thing about this new routine is that it's impossible to do when we're at work. All the bedrooms are taken, and I can't/don't want to leave the pack-n-play there for only two days a week to get covered with black dog hairs. I don't know what to do. Nursing her to sleep just doesn't work anymore - she wakes right up when I put her down. And if she's not confined, she won't fall asleep on her own. I guess it's a good thing we'll be done with this job at the end of the year. But until then, I need to figure out a way for Marissa to get her naps in!

Anyways, I really hope that by writing this, I didn't just mess everything up. Lol. But I wanted everyone to know that I haven't been taking naps in her crib with her. Hehe Bye!

Wow

Marissa's vocabulary has already grown in the few days since I came up with that list! Keys, eyes, knee, and boo-boo are among the new additions. It's crazy!

I've been worn out lately. Last Tuesday I started the day by doing two loads of laundry, and two loads of dishes in the dishwasher. Then it was NAPTIME* and I got a shower. Then at 4:15, I found out that we would be showing our house at 6:15 to the realtor-lady who is trying to sell more plots. This couple wanted to see our model, and we have one of very few of this kind in the area. They are mailing us a nice big gift certificate to somewhere for showing it, but holy crap. I've never cleaned anything so fast in my life. We're still unpacking boxes and arranging things, on top of the usual mess of toys and crumbs on the floor. I put everything away, in boxes, drawers, shelves, dresser drawers, etc. Moved boxes out to the garage. Shoved random things into our dresser. Went around collecting trash from every room and hallway. Swept the floors. Vacuumed the floors. Did more dishes. Cleaned the whole kitchen. And I did all that with a toddler clinging to my legs. Lol. Dan came home from work a little early and helped a lot too. So, the house looks amazing right now! But don't open our dresser. Lol. Now we just have to sort all the junk in the dresser, and our house will be amazing, inside and out! I love it even more now, and there's sooo much space! I didn't realize how much room we have, and how much open space there is, because we still had a few boxes sitting around.

*NAPTIME: Holy crap. Well, let me start with the good stuff. I'm in the process of weaning Marissa, but she wants to do it a lot slower than I do. Lol. So we decided it was time for a new bedtime routine. She used to just nurse to sleep whenever she was tired, but sometimes that wouldn't be til 11pm, and it was just really starting to get ridiculous. Also, I wanted her to be able to go to bed on her own before she starts climbing out of her crib, and believe me, she's been trying lately. So we turned bedtime into Daddy-time. At 7:55 (an average of the times she used to just fall asleep on her own), Dan takes her upstairs for a diaper change and pjs. Then they read a book in the glider. Then he puts her in her crib. The very first night she only cried for 3 minutes. So we knew we made the right choice. She's been doing awesome ever since. She still sleeps in til around 7:30-8:30am. It's soooo nice to have the evenings just be adult time. And I'm loving the freedom it's giving me.

But...

NAPTIME. Since Saturday or Sunday (can't remember), naptime has been almost nonexistent. Sunday she slept for a few minutes in the nursery before church (we tried a new church again - Rissa did fine, and I really love the church and it's a lot closer than the other one), and then for a few minutes on Rach's lap in the afternoon. But when we put her in her crib, she was done with sleep. Last Monday at work, she slept for 4 minutes before she woke up crying. And then Tuesday happened. First, let me say that I'm sure most people can understand why I might be losing my patience. At least I hope so. Because I'm a bit embarrassed about what I have to say next. Lol. After lunch, Rissa asked to nurse. Which is fine. That's what she does. She knows when she's tired and ready for a nap. So I nursed her to sleep. But once I put her in her crib, she didn't stay asleep (she used to). So I tried our latest nighttime thing, and just went in her room and told her "I love you, it's time to go night-night. Lay down please" and let her cry for a few minutes to see if it was going to work. When it was obvious it wasn't, I got her out to nurse her back to sleep again (used to work). Only this time she just nursed forever, eyes wide open, playing with my hair. By this time, it was much later than she usually falls asleep, so I knew she was exhausted. So I decided to just put her in her crib (like Daddy does for bedtime) and let her go to sleep. Yeah right! I let her cry for 5 minutes, then went in and told her "I love you, it's time to go night-night. Lay down please" then let her cry for 5 minutes, then went in and told her the line, then let her cry for 5 minutes...you get the idea. I did this for, oh, probably 35 minutes. The funny part was that every time I walked back in the room, she completely stopped crying and her facial expressions were like she hadn't even been crying at all. It almost seemed fake, except for the tears and snot dripping down her face to the crib then onto the carpet. Lol. Finally, I decided it wasn't working (duh) and thought I'd lay down on the floor next to her crib to calm her down. Still crying. At this point, she was completely wiped out, so I knew if I could just get her to lay down, she'd fall asleep. So, silly desperate me, climbed into her crib (don't worry, it was very sturdy and didn't even creak - lol), and held her in a tight bear hug for 15 minutes while I sang to her. Finally, she collapsed. Somehow I managed to extricate myself from her crib without waking her up. I don't think I will be doing that again. But there's got to be a way to get this girl to nap well again!

Thankfully, she's been doing better since then, but it's still a struggle. She's sleeping now, so I'd better get some stuff done before she wakes up!

Yeah, it's been a while.

Well, Marissa had her weight check a few weeks ago now.
A little background info:1 yr - 17 lbs, 10 oz; 15 mo - 18 lbs, 13 oz
So her Dr. wanted me to start her drinking milk and adding olive oil to her veggies (weird) to help her gain weight, even though she's completely fine otherwise, and is developing normally. So she's still rear facing in her car seat, which is killing all of us. Lol. I figured she'd gain a lot because we've also been letting her have dessert a lot more, and she's generally just eating better. Or so it seemed to me.
So...drumroll please...




19 lbs 6 oz

So...still rear facing. Not sure what her Dr. thinks because he wasn't there, we just saw a nurse. But I have a feeling he'll be calling sometime. I don't know if I should be concerned that she's such a skinny mini, or annoyed that the Dr. is so concerned when it's obvious that I'm also a skinny mini.


Moving on...I finally have a few minutes to catch up. We had an awesome time in Chicago a few weeks ago. We left Tuesday morning and Dan had to go to 5 or 6 stores to install printers, and he had to completely set up a brand new store for work. Rissa and I either played with the toys in the stores, took naps in the van, hung out in the hotels, or spent 6 hours in a mall. Lol. It actually wasn't too bad, and Marissa did very well. We managed to time the long drives for during her naps most of the time, so she wasn't too miserable. And we pulled out all the stops for entertaining her when she was awake. Lol. We sang every little kid song imaginable, identified every body part visible, and threw every toy on the floorThursday was the last day Dan had to visit stores, so Thursday evening we went to Ikea right outside Chicago. I felt like the Griswolds going on vacation to Wally World...I was looking forward to it soooooo much, and was soooooo excited to finally see the signs and parking lot. But I actually got to go inside, and it got even better then! Lol. Marissa was asleep, so Dan stayed in the van with her, and I got to completely take my time walking through the whole store. It was amazing. I found about a zillion things I wanted. Once I went through the whole store, I called Dan and he came and I just showed him the highlights and the stuff I wanted. Hehe. We didn't buy anything, but in the spring, once we have a little more money, and the store in Cinci opens...oh boy, watch out! I basically want to furnish our entire house with stuff from there! My favorite thing is the little kids table and chairs. Absolutely perfect.

Friday, we got up and drove into the city, and went to the Museum of Science and Industry. The only reason we went there was so I could see the babies in all the stages of fetal development. Wow. That was just incredible. The rest of the museum was cool too, but Dan and Marissa were doing laps around the place while I studied all the babies. After the museum, we checked into our hotel, The Drake, and the lobby was really fancy. We were kinda disappointed in our room though. For the kind of money we had to spend on it, it wasn't even as nice as our rooms in the Comfort Inn. Lol. It was still cool though, cuz we were right downtown. Dan asked around for a good pizza place, and we walked to it - Gino's East. The pizza was ok, but I'm not really a pizza fan. Dan loved it, but we had to wait 45 minutes for them to just cook it. Geez. Again, we pulled out all the stops entertaining Marissa. Then we walked to the Sears Tower. Yes, walked. 2.5 miles - one way! I don't know how Dan convinced me to do it. Rissa got a nice long nap in the stroller, and I just about died. Once we finally got there, we saw the video at the top. During which, Marissa woke up hysterical (I think the loud movie woke her up) and nothing I did would console her. She was really upset the entire time we were up there, while Dan took a picture from every window - in the dark! Lol. Then we still had to walk the 2.5 miles back to our hotel! Marissa was awake for that walk, and loved every second of it - she just took everything in! We crashed that night!

Saturday, we got up and went to the Lincoln Park Zoo. We met a few guys that Dan knew from college there, and their wives. I had "met" one of them online because she also used to watch the triplets before I did. Weird! They just adopted twin girls from Guatemala who are two days younger than Marissa - they were absolutely precious! We had a great time visiting with them before we had to leave to drive home.

It was a busy little trip, with lots of driving, but it was really nice to get away for a while, and Dan really got to spend a lot of time with Marissa, which I sometimes feel that he doesn't get to do that often.

A week ago Marissa also turned 17 months old! I can't believe it! She is babbling like a maniac these days. I tried to compile a list of all the words she says on a regular basis:
her pronunciation = real word
tee = tv (oops)
boo = spoon
poo = poop (yes, she tells me when she poops! very convienent, but I'm really not ready for potty training!)
tish = tissue
shee = seat (carseat, or booster seat for a meal)
peas = please (she also usually signs it at the same time)
mah = more (she also usually signs it at the same time)
all doh = all done (she also usually signs it at the same time)
tank ooo = thank you
shoes = shoes (definitely her favorite, good grief!)
house = house
bah = ball (also sometimes says bah-bah for ball)
choo choo = choo choo train
baby = baby (another all time fav)
hi = hi
buh-bah = buh-bye
no = no
yesh = yes
puh = cup
ssssss = nurse
Dada = dada
Mama = mama
Ra-ra = Aunt Ra-ra
dee = ding (oven timer)
apple = apple
tash = trash
ell = help
nye-nye = night-night
Cheeeeeeze = cheese (for pictures)
She can also say Grandma and Grandpa, but I forget how she says them, and I think it changes every time we ask her. Lol.

Phew! I'm sure I am missing some of course. She also basically repeats anything we ask her to try. It's sooo cool. I love hearing her voice! Well, most of the time. Lol.

She can also identify her hair, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, lips, fingers, hands, feet, toes, knees, elbows, and belly button.Mealtime has become a circus. Depending on the week, day, or even hour, she might hate a food or love it. They say to watch a toddler's intake by the week instead of the day, and by the week she eats fine, but daily, it's ridiculous!

Ok, moving on...Last Wednesday after work, Marissa and I drove to Indy to visit my roommate from college, Laureann. She just had her baby boy two weeks ago, so I had to see him! He is sooo tiny, and sooo adorable! It was wonderful to hold a tiny baby again, and we had a fun visit til I had to leave late Thursday night. Marissa absolutely LOVED the baby, and said baby every two seconds the whole time we were there. She tickled his toes, rubbed his fuzzy hair, and kissed his head. She even got to hold baby Carter! It was soooo cute. She was so amazingly gentle the whole time. She also did this weird squint/smile when we ask her to give us a smile. She is turning into quite a fun little girl these days.

Well, I'd better run. I smell something funny...Lol.

The computer is still in the basement.

Sorry folks. I still have very little time to get on here. I've been reading sites still, when I get the chance, but commenting just has to take a back seat these days. I was just reading all my subs, and realized that everybody I know is pregnant. I'm so happy for them, because I know how exciting it is. But I'm so frustrated. Because that should be me too. I felt like the timing was perfect, and I had full-fledged BABY FEVER! But apparently God disagreed with the timing. I wish it wasn't such a long process to get on the other side of this. It was almost a month and a half ago when I first thought I was losing the baby. Now that I'm finally over all the stuff related to the D & C (long story), I'm ready to move on. And I want a tiny baby to hold!
Ok, enough of that.

I'm at work right now, and all the kids are supposed to be sleeping. But I can hear the 4 yr old girl wide awake, messing around in her bed. And Marissa is being stubborn and won't go to sleep. Oh well...At least I still get my quiet time.

We've been pretty busy lately. Last weekend my parents came to visit and Dan's parents just left Monday morning after spending the weekend with us. Both weekends were fun, and Marissa did great around all her grandparents, even though she doesn't see any of them very often. When my parents were here, they helped us do a lot around the house that I hadn't been able to get to because of all my issues. The house actually looks pretty good now, although there are still some spots that need help! But it feels sooo good to have it organized and some nice things put up. We got two awesome gates from Babies R Us - one for the top and one for the bottom of the stairs. It makes life soooooo much easier! Definitely worth every penny. And if we forget to close them, she'll even close them for us. Lol

Marissa is so fun and funny these days. She dances around the clock, always pulling out new moves. She's starting to pick up words a lot faster too:

• nurse = sssss
• cup = puh (just the "p" sound)
• baby
• tissue
• Rachel and Ra-Ra - both versions! Aunt Rachel is proud
• Da-da - she was so stubborn for so long and wouldn't say dada, and now she won't stop!
• Gramma = mee-mee
• Grandpa = pa-pa
• bless you = ble-shoe
• shoe
• noooo-ooooo - yes, she finally learned this word. She always says it with multiple syllables too. And her voice goes up at the end. Lol. And she says it as an answer to EVERYTHING. But at least she doesn't always mean it. So when we know she doesn't mean it, I make her say yes.
• yes = yesh
• hot - this comes with a lot of blowing on the food to cool it off - lol
• Hmmm, there's gotta be more. I'll think of them later I'm sure.

She also loves to blow her own nose - over and over again - (when she finds the tissues we hide from her) and then go throw it away in the trash. Only she has to take my hand and lead me to the trash can so I can open it for her. Too funny!

Weight check for Rissa at the Dr. on Thursday...we're really REALLY REALLY hoping to hit the 20 lb mark!

Oh, we bought a comforter for our bed finally! King size stuff is so expensive so we didn't get everything at once. But now it's all done, and it looks beautiful! I can't wait to take a picture to put up on here. Actually, I could almost take pictures of the whole house since it's starting to look like a normal house.

Well, Marissa slept late this morning (8:15 - yay!) but I doubt that was late enough for her to completely skip a nap! Lol. I guess we should try the whole nap thing again. I wonder where she got her stubbornness...

P.S. - anybody else in love with the HGTV show Color Splash? I keep having dreams about seeing the host in our neighborhood or Lowes. But I love that show!

On the bright side...

I thought I'd share a few happy things since my recent posts have been a bit depressing.
Tomorrow is happy 16 months to our big girl! It's hard to believe she's so old already! She has been so much fun and so good lately. She's been content to play by herself or watch The Backyardigans (She loves the show, which has really helped, but she's been watching way too much tv because I've needed her to. At least the show is cute and I can stand watching it too) when I've been stuck on the couch (I've had some issues, nothing huge, just ridiculous, but I'm better now. It's just a bunch of TMI, so I doubt I'll share on here). She also is talking more! She says "ble shoe" anytime anyone sneezes or coughs (I guess they sound the same?) and sometimes repeats her version of "love you" after we say it to her. She is also getting closer and closer to saying Aunt Rachel's name. Although sometimes it ends up sounding a lot like "ble shoe" - lol. This morning she learned how to say "baby" - it's too cute! She looked directly at my mouth when I said it, and repeated it perfectly! So we said it over and over again, pointing to a baby in a book of hers. She is also eating better and better every day. Still picky, but I'll take what I can get!

Today our dresser/mirror got delivered. We bought it together with the bed, but it was back-ordered til today. I love how it looks, but it was a ridiculous ordeal to get it delivered. The delivery guys were late for the time frame they gave us. Then they dented and scratched up the wall by our front door. Then one corner of the mirror is completely rounded and dented. And there is white paint (from our wall of course) on the bottom of the dresser. The guys came back to take pictures of the dents in the wall and their insurance might do something for us. They are going to bring out another mirror for an even exchange. And they said that an SOS pad might get the paint off the dresser, or if it doesn't, the guys who bring the new mirror will have a "stain pen" to color over the paint with the same color stain. Even better, when the guys came back to take pictures of the dents, one of the guys leaned against a corner in our house and scratched his back all over it, leaving the whole corner black. It wiped off, but if it hadn't, I would have REALLY gotten upset! I still really like our bedroom set, but I am NOT pleased with the place we got it from. Oh well, we'll know for next time Once the piles of clothes get put in the dresser, I'll take a picture of our beautiful bedroom set

Well, since I'm finally feeling better, and my neck is almost better (last chiro appt tonight), I suppose I should finally catch up on dishes and laundry. It's been a bit of a disaster area around here since I've been basically stuck on the couch since Saturday evening. Oh, except for church on Sunday. We tried a new church again, and it was awesome, and Marissa did wonderful in the nursery. I was so proud of her, and so relieved. I could barely concentrate during the service, because she did so awful last Sunday. But they didn't even have to call me back to get her, and she came out looking happy and not all puffy from crying. It wore her out, because she completely slept through lunch at a restaurant, which she hasn't done since like 3-4 months old. But this church is about to start a Saturday evening service, which would be awesome I think, because then it wouldn't always be her naptime during church. I think we'll probably try at least one more church that's a little closer, but this place is definitely one I can see us going to long term.

About nursing relating to the surgery...I talked to a pro LLL leader, who said I didn't have to pump/dump or do anything weird after the surgery. She said as long as I was able to hold her, it was safe to nurse her. So we didn't stop (other than while I was gone obviously, but that wasn't any longer than she's gone before) and I'm not planning on weaning any time soon. If she somehow all of a sudden jumps up in weight gain, I may consider it, but I just don't think it's a good idea for her right now. I never thought I'd be one of "those" mothers who nurse this long, but it just happened! Hehe!
Ok, time to get some work done

Healing

The procedure is over and everything went fine yesterday. I feel completely back to normal, except for the weird numbness in my arms and legs. Lol. Marissa did sooooo good staying home with my wonderful friend Susan and her daughter Ingrid (17 months I think). I came home and she wouldn't even give me a kiss she was having so much fun. I was more worried about her having an awful day than me having an awful day! I'm taking it easy this weekend, and it's kinda nice so far. Rissa definitely made up her "mommy time" this evening, but it was great cuz I missed her too.

I'm also feeling pretty good emotionally/mentally. Not sure if I'm actually feeling this good for real, or if it just hasn't hit me yet. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of sad moments. But Marissa is full of cheer and Dan and Rach are fun and super helpful.

Well, I thought I'd let everybody know that I'm back home and ok. I woke up Tuesday morning and couldn't move my neck, so it's been an interesting few days. My neck is finally feeling mostly better, and hopefully this coming week I can actually get unpacking again and cleaning up around here.

Thank you so much for all the prayers! It was very encouraging and made me so happy!

Short and bittersweet

• I am no longer carrying a healthy baby. Very sad. I came back from vacation expecting and preparing for the worst. But after the ultrasound and heartbeat, I got my hopes back up. Now the heartbeat is gone. Not sure how much it has really hit me yet. Everything went so smoothly with Marissa that I kinda didn't think this could ever happen. Oh well. D & C scheduled for next Friday. Any tips on weaning/not weaning/pumping, etc. (keeping in mind the Dr's worry about Marissa's lack of weight gain) for the surgery are much needed. Moving on...
• The house is wonderful, but it's a disaster area. It is a very slow, but exciting process of unpacking and arranging things.
• We bought a king size bedroom set, and it was delivered Wednesday! We love it! Pictures soon.
• Marissa is diligently practicing for her upcoming (2 yr) birthday already. Wow. Whining, screaming, squealing, biting...we're having a grand time More pictures soon. I know, I've been slacking off. She is finally drinking milk! It took some convincing, but she drinks it out of a sippy with a straw now. Hopefully it will help her gain some much needed weight. She also has been eating a little better. The other day she had 6 chicken nuggets for lunch, among other things. And she ate her first PB&J too She also is well on her way to mastering the use of a fork and spoon. It's so darn cute, and she's so proud of herself. She's actually not too messy either. She is so much fun lately, and so loving. Just what I need these days. She certainly knows how to make her momma happy!
• Rach (my sis) is moving into our extra bedroom this weekend, and will eventually move into the basement once we get it finished. Fun times ahead!
• We finally have internet at our house! I'd been going through xanga-withdrawal. I promise to get back to posting regularly as soon as I can! In the meantime, I will be busy setting up our house and trying to cope with the difficult things ahead.

A few pics

Bubbles!

She loves wearing her necklaces and I love her pigtails!

Family picture on vacation

She loves her spaghetti!

"Cheese!"

We're back, we're homeowners, and I'm PREGNANT!!!

15 months
First of all, happy 15 months to Marissa Lynn! She had her appointment yesterday. She weighed 18 lbs, 13 oz so she STILL has to face backwards in her carseat! The Dr. was a little worried since her percentile dropped from 25% (consistent til 9 months) down to 15% (at 1 year) down to 5% now. So I'll be starting her on whole milk (still nursing of course) and adding olive oil to her veggies (haha that seemed weird to me). We've honestly been trying to fatten her up, but to no avail.
This past week, on vacation, it seems like her language has just shot through the roof! She started saying "cheese" for pictures, all the time! It's hysterical, and I'll try to get a video of it on here. She also says hat (ha-), hot (ho-), hi, mama, tissue (tish-), uh-oh, and Dan claims she said fish and car but we can't get her to repeat them. Lol. Total she says 10+ words, but for the life of me I can't remember any more right now.

Vacation
We spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long in the car. We drove 9 hours to NY, spent Thursday night (well, it was daytime before we got there) at my parents house, and drove 6 hours to NH and spent Friday night, then drove 2 hours to Maine Saturday afternoon. Once we got there, it was really really nice to just relax around the cottage, even though it was smaller than we were expecting. It was kinda a hassle to get everyone to the beach with food and baby stuff, etc. so we didn't all go everyday, but Rissa certainly got a good taste of beach life! We got ice cream at Brown's almost every day because they have the awesomest flavor in the country - Chocolate Oreo Mousse! Marissa liked it too. We had planned to drive the 9 hours to NY the following Friday night, only we took a minor detour that added 100 miles to our trip, then drove the last 8 hours home Saturday night. Marissa talked in her sleep on the drive home - it was hysterical! She said "Hi!" which she does alllllllllll the time to everybody, and "Eh?" which she says when someone leaves and she wonders where they went. She even did the hand motions to the "Eh?" - too funny! Sunday we didn't do much except pack a couple boxes. Then Monday...

We closed on our house!
We are gradually moving in all week, but Saturday is the big day! Our house is wonderful! We are going tonight to purchase a washer, dryer, stove, and fridge!
Plus, guess what...

I'm PREGNANT!!!

We found out July 8th, but thought it best to keep it a secret - til now, mainly cuz I can't stand keeping it a secret anymore! Estimated due date is March 12, 2008. That should put the siblings about 23 months apart. Hehe. We're soooo excited! It's kinda good timing because all my maternity clothes are going to be the correct season, but I didn't have all that many (mainly because they were just way too big!) so hopefully I'll get some cute wintery stuff, and fit into my old maternity stuff better this time around, since I hear second pregnancies get bigger faster, and are just bigger in general. Dan is really hoping for a boy, to even things out a bit. Lol. But I don't care either way! It would be kinda nice if we have another girl though, since we have TONS of girly stuff, and all in the right seasons - unless this next baby is a huge chunko! Marissa is still wearing some 9 month clothes at 15 months!

I've been watching Marissa with the baby I nanny for (he's 5 months younger than her), and it's just soooo cute! She gives him hugs and kisses, and brings him toys. She is totally ready for a sibling! Plus, she can do the "shhhh" thing to be quiet if the baby's sleeping, so really, that's the only thing that's necessary. Lol. Except just in the last few weeks, all of a sudden, she's decided that if he even comes near her when she's playing with a toy, she screams and cries like he's about to squash her (which he could very well do, but he doesn't - lol). She has become quite protective of any toy she is playing with. While it's very funny to me, it seems like the end of the world to her, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I could ignore it since it's unnecessary; I could tell her NO for fussing at him; or I could tell him NO for taking her toy. But I don't want to ignore it, and I don't think either of them would understand why I was telling them NO. Plus, neither of them is ready for the whole "sharing" thing yet anyways. I suppose the only good thing that will come out of this is that Marissa will learn to share by the time her sibling arrives, whether she likes it or not!

I would have liked a smaller age difference actually, but I didn't even think about it until it was too late for that. Lol. I feel like this is good though, because Marissa is very much losing her "baby-ness" and she's pretty much hit all the "baby milestones." So we got to enjoy her babyhood, and now it's time for more baby-ness! I'm not nervous about having 2 kids - yet. Since I've been nannying since before Marissa was born, I feel like I can handle a bunch of kids at a time. I'm sure things will be different though, when they're both my own! One thing I already know will be near impossible is taking a shower! Now, I usually wait to take one at night, or put Marissa in a walker-type thing while I jump in really quickly. But I'm not sure I'd be comfortable leaving a baby in a swing/bouncer and Rissa walking around. I can totally see Marissa trying to pick up the baby or something. I'm sure I'll figure something out, and I'm sure every other mother out there has figured something out. But I can't wait!

Another thing I'm nervous about is breastfeeding. Marissa is still nursing quite a bit, and I don't want to wean her, especially right now, unless she starts on her own. She's pretty much night-weaned already, so that's not a problem. But am I really up for tandem nursing? I'm kinda secretly hoping Marissa will wean herself soon, and not demand to nurse even more when the baby comes. But we'll see how things go when the time comes.

My first doctor's appointment isn't until August 7th, but I've already been in to see the doctors and midwives, and I love them! I had some issues while we were on vacation, and I made a quick trip to get things checked out on Monday afternoon (30 minutes before closing). We have a heartbeat, and "it" was measuring 7 weeks 2 days! I'm supposed to take it easy for now, but that's going to be difficult since we're moving! I've been feeling VERY nauseous, most of the time, so I really hope that goes away soon. I really can't eat much cuz I feel so sick, and even when I eat something, it still doesn't make the sickness go away. At least I'm not vomiting everywhere...yet...I'm very excited about this upcoming birth. Since we are moving, and since I want a different kind of birth than last time, I decided to change doctors. If there are no complications during pregnancy, I will be able to give birth in a birthing center, hopefully in a tub!

We had a boy's name picked out, but I changed my mind already. Lol. And if it's another girl, we're in trouble! Marissa was the only name we could agree on last time! Hehe. YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

As a side note, I was extremely frustrated during our vacation. The beach was beautiful, but I couldn't get away from cigarette smoke! Here are some quotes I found online that support my strong opinion on secondhand smoke, especially now that I'm pregnant, and especially since I've already had issues:

"Q: What about other people smoking around the pregnant woman?...A: She has a greater chance of having a baby that weighs too little and may have health problems. So, a pregnant woman should ask her partner, and other people as well, not to smoke near her."

" We have firm evidence that the use of tobacco products by adults(environmental tobacco smoke) increases childhood mortality and morbidity; otitis media, tympanostomy, tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy,asthma, coughs, lower respiratory tract illness, hospitalisations, and deaths... A study, released at a 1996 meeting of the American Association for Cancer Research in Washington, says the compounds associated with second hand smoke can cause genetic damage and may be a prelude to childhood leukemia and other cancers. The study suggests that cancer-causing chemicals in cigarette smoke pass from mother to unborn baby, whether the mother smokes or not..."

And basically this whole article http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20050727/secondhand-smoke-may-harm-fetus-like-smoking but especially

"...smoking during pregnancy causes genetic damage in the developing fetus that can be detected at birth, but also that passive -- or secondary -- exposure causes just as much damage as active smoking, and it is the same kind of damage..."

Ok, I feel better venting about that now. Grrrrr...